Happy New Year to all!

On the first day of the new year, we hope to set a tone of being happy.  This is not to mean that we shouldn’t take things or life seriously.  On the contrary, we should commit to accomplishing our goals with dedication and devotion – that, of course, is serious business.  But life is too short not to enjoy things that make us happy, like a strong faith in the Lord, love of family, friendships, doing a good job in our profession, sharing with the less fortunate, being at peace with ourselves and reading the sports pages or monitoring sports developments on the Internet or watching our favorite athletes in action.

Today, we’ll go light and try to put a smile on your face with some of the funniest one-liners in basketball and boxing as compiled by writer Glenn Liebman.  Enjoy Day 1 of the Year of the Snake.  Nothing beats fun, laughter and sports in welcoming the New Year.

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“I know the guys are out there somewhere, I just don’t know where”– NBA forward Buck Williams on averaging less than two assists (1.3, to be exact) a game in his 17-year career with the New Jersey Nets, Portland Trail Blazers and New York Knicks.

“We have a great bunch of outside shooters, unfortunately, all our games are played indoors” – former New Mexico State basketball coach Weldon Drew.

“Lots of people look up to Charles Barkley, that’s because he’s just knocked them down” – the late Chuck Daly who coached the Detroit Pistons to two NBA titles and the US Dream Team to the gold medal at the 1992 Olympics.

“I was going to sue her for defamation of character but then I realized I have no character” – Charles Barkley on controversial Tonya Harding calling herself the Charles Barkley of ice skating.

“Coaching is easy, winning is the hard part” – NBA Hall of Fame legend Elgin Baylor.

“I took advantage of the absence of his presence” – Michael Jordan after scoring a bundle with top defensive player Dennis Johnson unable to suit up.

“Tree could be the only player in college basketball who can keep both teams in the game at the same time” – Jack Spencer, Nevada-Reno assistant coach on Ken (Tree) Spencer, a prolific scorer who couldn’t defend a lick.

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“I love exercise, I could watch it all day” – NBA Hall of Fame legend Bill Russell.

“Are you any relation to your brother Marv?” – former NBA guard, PBA import and now NBA referee Leon Wood introducing himself to TV announcer Steve Albert.

“I believe in higher education, you know, 6-8, 6-9, 6-10” – San Diego State basketball coach David (Smokey) Gaines on prioritizing his recruits.

“When you’re as great as I am, it’s hard to be humble.  To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best.  If you’re not, pretend you are.  If anyone ever dreams he can beat me, he had better wake up and apologize” – Muhammad Ali.

“I’m fighting for every guy who ever got told to act your age.  The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income” – George Foreman who won his second world heavyweight boxing title at 45 by knocking out 27-year-old Michael Moorer with a single punch in 1994. 

“Bakeries have destroyed more boxers than wine, women and song” – the late Los Angeles Times columnist Jim Murray.

“You’re damn right I know where I am, I’m in Madison Square Garden getting beaten up” – former world lightheavyweight boxing champion Willie Pastrano asked by referee Johnny LoBianco if he knew where he was after a knockdown by Jose Torres in 1965.

“Never have so few taken so much from so many” – former world welterweight champion Saoul Mamby, who figured in his last pro fight at 60 years old in 2008, on boxing managers.

“Fear was absolutely necessary, without it, I would have been scared to death” – the late world heavyweight champion Floyd Patterson.

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“We were so poor that my old man would go outside every Christmas and shoot his gun then come back and tell us that Santa Claus had committed suicide” – former world middleweight champion Jake LaMotta.

“My opinion is to get out (of boxing) while you have your brains all together and your money and as Joe Bugner puts it, the ability to count it” – Dr. Ferdie Pacheco.

“I don’t fear anybody but God, another boxer might knock you down but God can do something permanent to you” – former world heavyweight champion John Tate.

“I don’t care what religion he is, if he doesn’t get moving, he’s gonna lose the fight” – the late trainer Gil Clancy.

“The bell rang and I went to the center of the ring, I threw two left jabs, a hard left hook, a right and then an uppercut then (Carmen) Basilio came to the center of the ring” – Art Aragon after he was knocked out in the eighth round by Basilio in 1958.

Happy New Year to all!