Spread your wings

Tomorrow will be a memorable day for the Ngkaion and Henson families. It’s the red-letter day when Mark Ngkaion, the youngest of three children, ties the knot with Cristina Henson, our only child.

My friends say 90 percent of fathers, who walk their daughters down the aisle to give them away in marriage, cry. I really don’t know how emotional I will be. All I know is it’s hard to give away your little girl, hard to accept she’s grown to be a woman and hard to realize she has a life of her own to live away from where she grew up.

Cristina says if I shed buckets, she’ll do the same and it’ll ruin her make-up. I’ll try to hold back, I promise.

Nearly 27 years ago, when Cristina was born, my wife Menchu and I couldn’t believe how lucky we were. I remember holding Cristina in my arms on her first day home from the hospital where she was born and whispering softly in her ear, “I love you and I’ll make you the happiest girl who ever lived.” She was a beautiful baby, hardly fussed and obedient. Everyone loved her.

I remember reading stories to Cristina in bed. She loved the Berenstain Bears, Care Bears and Winnie the Pooh. Menchu and I joined her in saying her night prayers. Cristina always had a line reserved in her prayers for my father who passed away in 1986. “Lolo, I love you, watch over me tonight,” she prayed. To this day, Cristina has fond memories of my father even if she was only two years old when he passed away. I’m sure she still prays every night for her Lolo to watch over her because he loved her so much.

I remember Cristina going to school, making friends and growing up. Menchu decided to retire from work at an early age to be with Cristina when she was 12. Menchu was employed for over 20 years and had built a solid reputation as a professional with an inspiring work ethic. She loved her work but felt it was time to devote her life to our daughter. Being a full-time mom was something she never dreamed of when she began her professional career fresh out of college where she was named one of the country’s top five co-eds. But in 1996, she felt the calling and embraced it.

Cristina got involved in sports. Swimming was her favorite. She competed in several meets, including an international festival in Hong Kong, and earned her share of medals. Anthony Lozada was her coach with the Alabang Gators. After graduating from La Salle Zobel high school, she was offered a partial scholarship to join the College of St. Benilde swimming varsity. Cristina, who is artistically inclined, enrolled in a liberal arts course on production design.

* * * *

I remember picking up Cristina from school after evening practices at the La Salle pool. Eventually, the grind of waking up early to report for morning classes and coming home late from practice took a toll on her. She took a leave of absence from St. Benilde, as advised by Bro. Rolly Dizon then the La Salle system president, and transferred to San Beda Alabang which was only a 15-minute walk away from home. Bro. Dizon suggested the leave of absence to keep the door open for Cristina to return to St. Benilde. It was at San Beda where Cristina blossomed, making new friends, actively participating in extra-curricular activities as a campus figure and studying hard to earn a diploma in communication arts. Swimming coach Pinky Brosas invited her to join the Alabang varsity but she declined, opting to concentrate on her class work.

As she matured, Cristina grew up to be a source of pride and joy for us. Blessed with a caring heart, she spent Saturdays teaching streetkids how to read and write, playing with them and sharing Catholic values at a home run by our dear friend Sister Teresa McEntee in Alabang Hills. Sister Teresa called Cristina her little angel.

Menchu and I will always remember our bonding moments with Cristina – on vacation wherever the road led us, on family gatherings, shopping at our favorite mall or supermarket, going to the theater, driving out of town or even just watching movies on TV in bed, the three of us snuggled close to each other under a warm blanket. I remember Cristina jumping on me in bed, tickling me ‘til I cried uncle and acting out a wrestling move – even when she was all grown up.

Cristina and I used to watch wrestling a lot on TV together. Her all-time heroes are Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart so when they came to Manila several years ago, she had to be with me for my interviews. She occasionally joined me in the stadium when I did TV work for basketball and boxing.

Cristina had a special relationship with her relatives. How she wishes that my father and Menchu’s mother could be at her wedding tomorrow. She knows they’ll be there in spirit, watching over her as they do when she sleeps at night. Her uncles, aunts and cousins will be around to celebrate her unforgettable moment. My brother Ramon and sisters Vicki and Irene are in town from the US for the wedding. Ramon’s son Greg, his wife Lisa and their sons Gregory and Andrew also flew in from the US. Irene’s husband Jordan is here, too. Coming all the way from overseas to be with Cristina is a clear indication of how much she is loved.

How wonderful that my mother Marina, who is 94, and Menchu’s father Dr. Jose Genato, 84, will be at the wedding to witness their grandchild in the happiest day of her life. How wonderful that those who are special to our family will be there.

* * * *

Cristina had her first taste of employment when she apprenticed at the Palms Country Club in Alabang. She was well-liked in the workplace. She worked hard, was sincere in relating with co-workers and shared her time with others. It was a good experience that prepared her for the future. After graduation from San Beda Alabang, Cristina worked for a large real estate development company as an event organizer and later joined a group that produces a line of publications as a fashion stylist. Additionally, she has put up her own events outfit and helps out Mark in his new business venture, a Posh Nails franchise in Alabang.

Because she’s an only child, Menchu and I are really at a loss as to how we’ll cope without Cristina at home. Tomorrow, she will officially leave her “nest” and start a new life with Mark. They won’t be too far away from where we live – they’re renting a home in the next village – but I know we’ll miss her terribly. Her bedroom will be empty. We’ll never enjoy those moments of the three of us cuddling in bed again – our bed isn’t big enough for four.

But it’s time to let Cristina spread her wings and fly. It’s time for her to enjoy a family of her own, to live a life as happy as ours with her. As I write this, I’m moved to tears so you can just imagine how shaken I’ll be tomorrow. Cristina will always be with us, wherever she goes, whatever she does, because she lives forever in our hearts.

Mark is a fine gentleman and has the makings of an ideal husband and father. He loves sports like Cristina – they dive together, watch basketball games together and cheer lustily together for Manny Pacquiao when he fights abroad in a local closed-circuit venue. They respect each other’s space and are a team, whether at work or play. They’re clearly good for each other. As for Mark, I couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law and it’s not just because he uploaded over 30,000 songs in my Ipod. I know during the wedding tomorrow, he’ll whisper softly in Cristina’s ear, “I love you and I’ll make you the happiest girl who ever lived.”

Menchu and I know that Mark loves our Cristina very much and she loves him back, too. That thought will make it easier for me to give Cristina away tomorrow.