Surreal giants should've faced off

It wasn’t exactly as publicized but for over 10,000 fans who jammed the Araneta Coliseum last Friday night, the seven matches in the WWE Smackdown-ECW show were right on the money.

Edge didn’t show up. Neither did the Undertaker, Umaga and Kane. They were listed in the promotional lineup. Even Batista, who blew into town to publicize the event a few months ago, was a no-show.

Before the Manila event, the show was in Honolulu the Sunday before and Tokyo last Tuesday and Wednesday. The matches and results in Manila were identical with those in Honolulu except the sequence was different. In Honolulu, the main event featured Chris Jericho versus Rey Mysterio while here, it was CM Punk versus Jeff Hardy.

The two Tokyo shows employed the same cast but there were variations. In the July 7 show, John Morrison faced Dolph Ziggler while the Great Khali took care of Shelton Benjamin. And in the July 8 show, Jericho battled legend Ricky Steamboat in a special challenge match, Tommy Dreamer and Christian met Jack Swagger and Mark Henry in a tag teamer and Mysterio fought Evan Bourne. In the Big Dome curtain raiser, Morrison jumped off the top rope to take the luster out of Shelton, nicknamed the “Gold Standard.” Both grapplers had close calls, exchanging sleeper holds before simultaneous clotheslines nearly caused a double count-out.

Then, former ECW champion Henry devastated Bourne who tried to court local sympathy by wearing a Team Pilipinas No. 7 jersey as he entered the ring. The 6-1, 392-pound Henry was just too big for the 5-9, 183-pound Bourne. Henry, a 1992 Olympic weightlifter who was once romantically linked with the celebrated “diva” Chyna, mesmerized the crowd with his size. He dropped Bourne with a headbutt - reminiscent of black legend Bobo Brazil ‘s coco-butt in the ‘60s - then caught him off the top rope for a slam and the pin. Although it was a lopsided affair, Henry captivated the fans because he didn’t look real - he looked surreal, like out of this world.

* * *

The third match brought in the divas. Maria was the guest referee as world champion Michelle McCool teamed with Alicia Fox to face Melina and Gail Kim. It wasn’t particularly exciting as McCool, protecting her reputation as the world titleholder, kept away from being dragged into a compromising situation. Kim eventually pinned Fox for the win.

Another giant stepped into the ring as the 7-3, 420-pound Great Khali of India was introduced to a wide-eyed audience. Like Henry, Khali didn’t seem real. They were like characters out of a comic book. Khali, 36, made mincemeat of 6-0, 213-pound Ziggler and simply overwhelmed the puny opponent. Khali, by the way, has been getting major exposure in the WWE circuit with high-profile matches against Batista, Kane, Henry and the Undertaker.

After a brief intermission, ECW general manager Tiffany introduced the next offering, a Triple-Threat ECW world championship match featuring Christian Cage, Swagger and Dreamer. The three-way battle had its moments but overall, the flow wasn’t convincing. Dreamer spent a lot of time outside the ring to give Christian and Swagger their minutes of glory until he slithered back in to pin Swagger on a DDT for the win. The grapplers did a few more things than just whip each other off the ropes and into the turnbuckles. They tried the sleeper, flying mare and even the Boston crab to give a semblance of some variety in their moves.

Dreamer then called a fan from behind the railing into the ring holding up a poster with the words “Innovator of Violence.” Dreamer gave him a T-shirt and draped the ECW belt on the fan’s shoulder. No, the fan didn’t take home the belt, just the T-shirt, but he’ll forever remember the experience.

* * *

Jericho and Mysterio were up next with the WWE Intercontinental title at stake. As usual, Jericho was obnoxious, grabbing the microphone from announcer Justin Roberts to call the fans “hypocrites and failures.” He went overboard by describing the Philippines as “a God-forsaken jungle.” Of course, all that was part of a script but still, the insults didn’t sit well with the fans. Jericho said he was an unqualified success and taunting the jeering fans, declared that “I’m better than you.”

Jericho vowed to unmask Mysterio, who drew the loudest applause of all the performers from the fans. Steamboat, who has been feuding lately with Jericho, was the guest referee. In the heat of the action, Jericho threatened to bang Mysterio with a steel chair but Steamboat intervened. Mysterio’s mask nearly came off, accidentally, after Jericho hurled him to a corner with an Irish whip. Steamboat, clearly favoring Mysterio, allowed the 175-pound dynamo time outside the ring, without a count, to fix his mask.

As it turned out, Mysterio used his acrobatics to pin Jericho with Steamboat gladly obliging the three-count. After Mysterio left the ring, Jericho hung around to engage Steamboat and they exchanged blows. Jericho wound up hightailing it as Steamboat had the final say in their confrontation.

Finally, Hardy and Punk duked it out for the world heavyweight title. The match was relatively uneventful. They shook hands, didn’t hit on the break and looked too chummy towards each other. Punk later junked the scientific approach and went after Hardy aggressively as he should’ve from the start. In the climax, Hardy flew off the top rope and attempted to land on a prostrate Punk. While Hardy was air-borne, Punk rolled over. Hardy came down hard on the mat with his target safely a distance away. Punk went on to pin Hardy.

When the show was over, fans were overheard talking more about the surreal giants than Mysterio, Jericho or the divas as they filed out of the arena. Khali and Henry left quite an impression although their matches were ridiculously one-sided. It would’ve been a spectacle if Khali and Henry faced off - that would’ve brought the building down.