Smile a little smile

Someone once said life is too short for you not to enjoy every breath that you take.

While this is not to encourage living without taking things seriously, there is meaning to having a good laugh, sharing a joke, smiling a little smile, being happy and thanking the Lord for the gift of life.

Today, let’s forget about our problems for a while and hang loose.

Here are some jokes to put you in the right mood. They’re jokes I picked up from Paul Miller in "The Good Sports Joke Book."

"A certain Orlando general manager, discussing his team’s 7-27 record: ‘We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. I just can’t figure out where else to play.’"

"An anonymous New Orleans general manager, after a loss, was asked what he thought of the refs: ‘I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.’"

"He’s such a versatile player, he can do anything wrong."

"Our center’s not very bright. I think he’s banged his head on too many doorways."

"The coach has a run and shoot offense. If an opponent outruns you, the coach shoots you."

"We have so many injuries, the team picture is an X-ray."

"I would never think of making fun of our point guard’s height. I wouldn’t stoop so low."

"I can understand why basketball shorts keep getting longer and longer. If I had knees like some of those guys, I’d want to hide them, too."

"I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don’t have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up, gets possession."

"Why are good bowlers like a labor union? Because they strike a lot."

"Why do good bowlers play so slowly? Because they have time to spare."

"Boxer: Doc, this ointment you gave me makes my arm smart. Doc: Then why not rub some on your head?"

"’Just think of it,’ said the braggart boxer to his manager. ‘Tonight, I’ll be fighting on TV before millions of people.’ ‘Yes,’ replied the weary manager, ‘and they’ll all know the result of the fight at least 10 seconds before you do.’"

"I know a fellow who makes only mental bets. The other day, he lost his mind.""He was a crossword-puzzle boxer. He entered the ring vertical and left horizontal."

"Written on a boxer’s tombstone: ‘You can stop counting, I’m not getting up.’"

"Mort is in his usual place at the breakfast table, reading the morning paper. He comes across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known for his lack of general intelligence. He turns to his wife and blurts, ‘I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.’ His wife replies, ‘Why, thank you, dear.’"

"Whoever thought up ‘it’s only a game’ probably just lost one."

"The trouble with being a good sport is that you have to lose to prove it."

"Harry: You know what your main golf problem is? Terry: What? Harry: You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it."

"Jason, looking depressed, says to his business partner, ‘My doctor tells me I can’t play golf.’ His business partner says, ‘So, he’s played with you, too.’"

"’You must be the worst caddie in the world,’ said the dejected golfer after a disastrous afternoon on the course. ‘I doubt it,’ replied the caddie. ‘That would be too much of a coincidence.’"

"Question: Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating popcorn? Answer: They think they can’t use their hands."

"A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, ‘Don’t dive. There’s no water in the pool.’ Said the man, ‘That’s all right. I can’t swim.’"

"Ella: I just adore tennis. I could play like this forever. Fella: You will, if you don’t take lessons."

"Never marry a tennis player because to him, love means nothing."

"Question: What’s the difference between a chess player and a man who is broke? Answer: One watches his pawns, the other pawns his watch."

"A doctor phoned a patient, ‘Your check came back.’ The patient said, ‘So did my tennis elbow.’"

Finally, here are some bloopers overheard on TV:

"I was in a no-win situation so I’m glad that I won rather than lost."

"The lead car is absolutely unique except for the one behind it which is identical."

"I’ll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right."

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Take it easy, have fun. Tomorrow’s another day.