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Sports

Last laugh

SPORTING CHANCE - Joaquin M. Henson -
They’re not laughing at the Los Angeles Clippers in the National Basketball Association (NBA) anymore.

This season, the Clippers are far from laughable. Coach Mike Dunleavy’s charges are outplaying their crosstown rivals, the Lakers, and finally, oddsmakers are taking them a little seriously.

Of course, it’s too early in the season to shower Dunleavy with superlatives. But one thing’s for sure, the Clippers are on the right track. They’re running second in the tough Pacific Division with a 16-11 record, 10-3 at home, while the Lakers are third at 15-14, losing their last three. They’ve faced each other once so far with the Clippers claiming a 97-91 decision. They square off again on Jan. 7 at the Staples Center, their common homecourt.

The Clippers posted a 6-2 preseason record and lost only to Sacramento and Seattle. They won their first three regular season games and for a while, showed the way in the Pacific.

But truth to tell, the Clippers’ early season schedule hasn’t been too difficult. Some of their wins came at the expense of lowly clubs like Atlanta, New York and Toronto. But they did manage to beat Cleveland, 102-90, Miami, 99-89, and Phoenix, 101-91. And they didn’t look too bad in losing to San Antonio, 95-87, in overtime.

The Clippers haven’t qualified for the playoffs in the last eight years so they’ve got a lot of catching up to do. The franchise started out as the Buffalo Braves in 1970-71 then became the San Diego Clippers in 1978-79 before moving to Los Angeles in 1984-85. In 35 seasons, the team has made it to only six playoffs and in those six playoffs, it advanced past the first round only once. The Clippers’ history of futility is unenviable.

While the Lakers enjoy a rich championship tradition, the Clippers are perennially the butt of jokes in LaLa Land.

In the book "You Don’t Say–Over 1,000 Hilarious Sports Quotes and Quips" compiled by Hartley Miller, there are several classic jokes about the Clippers, including the following:

"October 31 is the night people dress in bizarre, outlandish outfits and then make children and old people scream in horror. In most of the world, this is known as Halloween. In Southern California, it is the start of the Clippers’ season."–Comedian Jerry Perisho.

"Paying full price for a Clippers ticket–that is March Madness."–Los Angeles comic Jenny Church.

"They assumed he was smashed out of his mind because he allegedly was at a bar saying that he would love to play for the Clippers."–Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg after Dennis Rodman was arrested in Newport Beach on suspicion of public intoxication.

"Happy April Fool’s Day. This, of course, is the day we honor people who bet on the Clippers."–Jay Leno.

"We’re surprised he didn’t ask the Clippers to move to Eagle, Colorado."–Ted Wyman of the Winnipeg Sun on reports that Kobe Bryant asked the Clippers to play 10 to 12 home games a season at the Arrowhead Pond, which is closer to his home, as a condition of signing with them.

"Until there’s a settlement, there’ll be no three-pointers. No slam dunks. No alley oops. No fast breaks. For the Clippers, it means business as usual."–Comedy writer Alan Ray on NBA owners locking out the players.

"It wasn’t all bad news. In a joint press release, the club announced it was lowering expectations."–Chris Dufresne of the Los Angeles Times after the Clippers raised ticket prices following their 11th consecutive losing season.

By the way, the Clippers haven’t registered a winning season since Larry Brown, who took over with 35 games left in the campaign, piloted the team to a 23-12 mark en route to a 45-37 record in 1991-92.

Two stars are averaging at least 20 points a game for the Clippers this year and they’ve been leading the charge. Elton Brand is norming 25.5 points and 10.9 rebounds while Corey Maggette is hitting at a 21.7 clip. Veterans Sam Cassell and Cuttino Mobley are averaging a combined 31.1 points to provide firepower from the backcourt.

Although the Clippers could barge into the playoffs this season (they’re No. 6 in the West at the moment), they won’t go far because seven-foot starting center Chris Kaman (averaging 9.1 points and 8.6 rebounds) is not a serious post threat and Dunleavy’s bench is suspect. The Clippers relievers–including Shaun Livingston, Quinton Ross, Zeljko Rebraca, Chris Wilcox, Howard Eisley and Walter McCarty–just aren’t shakers.

If things prosper for the Clippers, they’ll be having the last laugh at the end of the season.

ALAN RAY

ALEX KASEBERG

ALTHOUGH THE CLIPPERS

ARROWHEAD POND

BUFFALO BRAVES

CHRIS DUFRESNE

CHRIS KAMAN

CLIPPERS

LOS ANGELES

SEASON

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