Fear factors

It is easy to get our children involved in sports. Often we think it is the natural thing to do. Perhaps we should also consider how the child feels about it even if we are adults we are easily carried away by all the images of sports achievement that we see on TV and cable television.

There are many environments wherein the child can be traumatized by being forced into sports. Let’s look at some of them.

The Athletic Family. The child may have a parent or two known in sports sometimes they face the pressure of becoming as talented or as popular as their fathers or mothers. Haven’t you notice the very few children of Olympic or world champions enter the same sport? It is rare to have a daughter like Lydia de Vega follow in her mother’s footstep. More likely, we will have Jaworskis, Nepomucenos, or others achieving in different fields.

The High Achievers. I once had a schoolmate who is an excellent basketball player and a consistent honor student. However, his three older brothers were all varsity players and cum laudes. Because he was constantly being compared to them, he dropped out in second year high school. I saw him six years later, and he was two years behind. He had developed a nervous laugh, and was always sweating. Sadly, he died 10 years ago. How many other children are pressured to follow the same path as their brothers and sisters.

Peer Pressure. In the beginning, playing a sport is fun for the barkada. However, what if you are a member of the barkada who is the only one on the bench? Studies have shown that chidren lose much of their confidence when they are teased by other kids because they are not as gifted physically. It is often better for children to see some action than none at all. Surveys also say that almost all parents would rather have a team of children who all get to play instead of one that wins with only a few players.

The Drill Sergeant. Many children are naturally afraid of getting hurt. Instead of understanding, some parents forced the kid to play at a level he is not used to. There is the father who will force his son to bat even when the child is afraid of getting hit. There is the coach who will throw a young child into the water even when he is scared to death of drowning. Children must be trained gradually, or they will grow up hating the sport.

One Way. Many families give their full support to the athletic child. But what about the sibling who would rather paint quietly, or read a book? There needs to be a balance in the time parents spend with ALL of their children. Not everybody enjoys being a cheerleader or spectator. Parents should respect the hobbies of each of their children, physical or emotional or artistic.

We get so absorbed being involved in sports that we forget how to introduce young people into it. The best way is to ask how much they can handle and how much they can absorb.

It will save us all a lot of pain.