Paying the price

Once again, I received a humbling lesson in life over the weekend, one that reflects how life has been for me and, in a way, most of us, full of unrealistic expectations. And this isn’t just an idle story spun from the sidelines.

League-leading teams The STAR and San Miguel Corporation, each undefeated after three games in the on-going Philippine Star Friendship League, clashed Saturday morning. The formidable juggernaut of SMC had at least four former pros in its line-up. Welcoat consultant Samboy Lim, Barangay Ginebra head coach Allan Caidic, and San Miguel beer assistant coaches Siot Tangquingcen and Art dela Cruz. The STAR team was made up of its employees and yours truly.

Although we lost by a mere two points in the last nine seconds of play, the bittersweet lesson I picked up that day woke me up like a bucket of ice cold water dumped on someone in a three-piece suit. It’s not easy to forget.

Frankly, it pains me to admit how embarrassed I was at my clumsy performance in a mere four minutes of action. On the other hand, I still marvel at how Allan and Samboy, despite the marching on of time, were still head and shoulders above mere mortal weekend players like myself. Then again, I realized, the reason why basketball came so easily to them was the thousands of hours and many years they had spend toiling at it, enduring the fatigue, hardship, injuries and loneliness of not being able to do what young men their age wanted to do in their spare time. They had paid their dues. I had not.

That stunning epiphany stopped me cold. Sitting helplessly on the bench, knowing I didn’t deserve to even be in the game because I hadn’t practiced, I recalled one of the immutable laws of the universe. As you sow, so shall you reap. I simply had not planted enough seed.

This leads to two questions many of us are reluctant to face, especially when we look in the mirror: how far are we willing to go, what price are we willing to pay, for our dream? Perhaps the deeper, more stirring fundamental question is, what is our dream? Many people end their days never having discovered what their dream or dreams are.

Here’s the scary part. You may never know how much it will really take to get you dream. And the price you think is enough may not be. Samboy Lim is a living example. He started out as an unmarked college phenom, and became an unstoppable force in the PBA. However, in ten years as a pro, he was only able to complete one season because of numerous injuries, many requiring surgery. That one year, he was rewarded with a Mythical Team selection. Today, he carries his scars proudly.

That’s what frightens almost all of us, the level of commitment it takes to go after a dream. A dear, dear friend once answered my exasperations over producing my own television program – and all the issues it unearthed in me – with one simple question. Whose dream is it, anyway? This was followed by another uppercut. How badly do you want it?

Perhaps the most tragic story of all is the joke about the man who wanted to swim across the English Channel. Having swum three-fourths of the way, he turned back, thinking he couldn’t make it. How often have we done that in life?

That’s probably the reason why a lot of us love sports, and can’t help but admire athletes, professional or amateur. These are people who have dared, and just by daring, have won. Sport is the most honest judge of all. If you’ve prepared, you will get your reward. The universe is always fair. It’s nothing personal. And when you think you’ve gotten away with it, you really haven’t, every armchair coach will never admit that, though.

If you ask me, that’s why envy is such a vile thing. Many times, we believe that professional athletes, businessmen, politicians, government officials and even entertainers don’t deserve the fame, success and prosperity that they have. But we’ve never seen them work for it, that’s why. We’ve never measured the hours away from leisure in back-breaking work, always wondering if they’re doing the right thing or not.

And perhaps we wonder if we’ve done enough, or whether we are where we are because that’s simply where we’ve allowed life to stop us in our tracks, and reasoned out that God of life of fate willed it for us.

Well, I can only answer that revealing, unsettling question for myself.

Can you answer yours?