"APOstolate"

Retirement means a lot of things to different people. When asked about its meaning retirees from the academe would usually say: “Retired but not tired.” Thus, options like consultancy or part-time lectures are still acceptable. 

To others it may mean the much awaited time to sort out things like photos, documents, mementos, or reading and writing books left unattended during the busy years before retirement. Still others who have earned modest retirement pay would look at retirement as the most appropriate time to try their business acumen because they could attend to it on a full-time basis. 

Some others would consume their time attending to their health problems particularly to their hearts, bones, including how to slow down the aging process. 

In the Philippine context, the general concern of retirees is the family. Culturally, Filipinos are closely-knit families. So when someone retires it is an unwritten law that the retiree extends loving care to the offspring of their children. This expectation is euphemistically called “APOstolate (stress on the word APO). It means to take care of the grandchild/children. The act is considered a mission given with love. 

In a small town, a retiree is congratulated if he/she has done the mission of completing the parental cycle. Performing the APOstolate mission poses no barrier. There will always be provision for travel to come to the aid of the children. This is where I find myself after retirement as a university professor from the University of the Philippines. I wanted to continue accepting consultancy, part-time lectures, thesis and dissertation advising but I have to turn my back from all these when the call to do an APOstolate mission came. 

My son and daughter in-law sent me ticket to fly to Houston, Texas. So I traveled for 12 long hours. In the plane I met other Filipino retirees who were bound to various destinations to do exactly what I was to do. This act is part of our cultural tradition, which I believe is shared by some other cultures that give priority to the family. 

When I arrived my jet lag was diminished when my apo (grandchild) smiled the sweetest smile I have never seen before. He has dimples on both cheeks. What a lovable baby! My only son who grew up with his three other sisters on the UP campus is now a father. This baby is the first to be born in the US from both families – thus the excitement of grandparents to be around. 

So there are actually three sets of eyes, ears, and loving hands doing APOstolate mission. We brought with us Filipino custom and tradition in raising the first child of the relatively young couple. First, the child has to be breastfed. This creates close bonding with the mother besides being more economical. Second, the mother has to eat a lot of dishes with vegetables most especially "”malunggay” to ensure continuous supply of milk. The vegetable dishes come in the form of “pinakbet” and “dinendeng.” Other regular dishes are “adobo” and “sinigang.” It is our belief that the exposure to the aroma would make the child crave for these Filipino dishes when he grows up. 

The baby's lullabies are songs popular in the Philippines during the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s.We come up with medleys like Rose Tattoo, Que sera sera, Around The World, Born Free and many others. When we run out of songs I would sing Bayan Ko and even " UP Naming Mahal. Amazing (or is it amusing?)  that the baby would fall asleep. 

I have completely set aside my academic posture and gradually shifted to my “APOstolic” mission. We talk to the baby in four languages namely: Ilocano, because my daughter in-law’s father speaks it; Visaya, the mother's native language; and Tagalog, my son’s and my first language. 

I read stories to the baby boy in English. The child is going to be multi-lingual. Why our native tongues? This will help him to relate to his cousins and other relatives when he visits the Philippines in the future. The English language will be easy for him because it is the medium of the speech community he is in. 

We shower love to this baby boy for he is our legacy to the next generation of Filipino-American families. This is “APOstolate” for me.