Generational fatherhood: Eric Tai on his dad and his own journey as a father
MANILA, Philippines — There is one memory of his father that makes sportsman, model and actor Eric “Eruption” Tai happy to this day.
When he was a young boy, Eric’s father, Sione Tai, would bring chocolate cookies and macaroons when he came home from work.
“My dad used to work as a janitor in a hotel, so there were a lot of times that he couldn’t be there for me,” he says.
“But I knew he was thinking of me when he would bring home—wrapped inside a paper towel—chocolate cookies and macaroons which were my favorite. As a boy, I would imagine that he was thinking of me while he was working, when he was grabbing those treats and wrapping them up in paper towel and saying to himself, ‘This is for my son Eric.’ Not for my brothers, but only for me.”
That memory makes Eric smile every time. Now that he is a father himself, he likes to do the same for his and wife Rona’s four-year-old son Legend.
“It's really the thought that matters, the context behind the little surprises,” he says.
The PLDT Home ambassador and esports champion grew up in Auckland, New Zealand. When he was 12, his family moved to Melbourne, Australia.
His childhood and teenage years revolved around rugby, cricket, volleyball and track and field—sports that his father himself loved and encouraged Eric to excel in vigorously.
Eric first came to the Philippines as a missionary where he served on a two-year mission in Naga, Camarines Sur.
After a four-week holiday, a friend suggested that he stay and become a model. He lived out of his suitcase in the beginning, crashing in friends’ homes while looking for opportunities outside of modeling.
It was tough, he says, but if he didn’t persevere, “I wouldn't have met Rona and wouldn't have entered showbiz.”
Made of sterner stuff
If there was a metaphor for Eric’s upbringing and his life, it would be rugby.
Rugby players are known to be tough; it’s a sport that’s physically and mentally exhausting as players run from goal to goal as the ball is kicked, carried and passed from hand to hand.
Before his foray into esports, Eric was part of the Philippine National Rugby Team in 2011 and the Alabang Eagles in club rugby.
“I don’t come from a wealthy family,” he says. What he lacked in material things, his father made up for with meaningful things. His upbringing taught him so many lessons in survival, resilience, sacrifice and faith.
“Growing up in New Zealand in the ‘80s and ‘90s was tough. My dad was raised in Tonga, a small third-world island country. He was brought up on a farm, he worked from farm to farm and didn’t have a permanent address. He barely spoke English when he made his way to New Zealand by literally stowing away on a ship for two weeks,” Eric recounts.
“I was born in Auckland and I remember my dad just working and working. Sometimes, he had two or three jobs, and I would rarely see him. Growing up, you don't understand that.”
But this allowed Eric to see beyond his dad’s sacrifices for his family.
Eric and his older brothers grew up learning all kinds of sports. “One day we’d be playing tennis, then basketball, volleyball or football—all in one week. Then my dad would teach me how to sprint or he’d enroll me in boxing. My exposure to sports has a lot to do with what I am now, a fitness ambassador here in the Philippines, and I am thankful for my dad.”
Fatherhood in the digital age
As a social media personality, Eric has had to explain to his son that when mom and dad are on the phone, they are working. After all, you can’t limit your child’s screen time when he sees you’re always on your phone.
“When he comes into the room, we give him attention. He now understands that we use our phones for work. I also want to make sure that as he grows up, he doesn’t rely on it too much or gets addicted to it.”
He says raising kids during COVID was hard because they got used to just being alone and using their tablets; they had no socialization with other kids.
A PLDT Home Fiber subscriber for eight years, Eric says that connectivity really did wonders to help the entire family cope during such a difficult time.
Eric and Rona understand the importance of making their home and the online space safe and positive for an only child like Legend.
“I realized how important it is to be not just providing financially for the family, but also giving care, love and your time. Time is the most important thing that I've learned as a dad to give to my son. Ever since he was a baby, I’ve been doing that. Rona and I—we have a great team.”
As soon as the lockdowns were lifted, they exposed Legend to sports. When he was only two years old, he learned to swim and he loves it.
“You can put him in the deep end of the pool and he’ll be able to swim,” Eric says proudly.
Legendary child, enormous love
Eric and Rona were married in 2014, and a year later, Rona had a miscarriage. They were told by doctors that the only way she could conceive again was through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).
Eric, who’s always lived his life under divine grace, hard work and unexpected blessings, found that his love for esports could help to save money for IVF.
Their son Legend is an IVF baby, “conceived in a lab in Makati.” In the home stretch of Rona’s pregnancy, they had to make a crucial decision as Rona had eclampsia and hypertension.
They had to decide “whether to bring out Legend or we let him hang in there for another week, but the longer he was inside the womb, the harder it would be for Rona.”
Eric and Rona are both prayerful. Eric’s spirituality has guided him throughout his life and this was no different. While Rona was in the hospital, she told him to go to church.
He didn’t want to leave her side but she said, “Go on my and the baby’s behalf.” So he went to the church in White Plains, talked at the pulpit and bared his burdens.
After that, one of the churchgoers, who happened to be an ob-gyn doctor, approached him. They discussed Rona’s case and the doctor advised Eric on what to do.
Eric was in the delivery room when Legend was born. Holding his son for the first time, he was awash in tears of joy and gratitude, “I just felt very blessed.”
When Legend was two, they noticed behaviors that led them to take him to a doctor. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, which affects how kids behave, see and understand the world, and interact with others.
It’s a condition that’s marked by repetitive behaviors, and under or overreaction to sensory input.
“He was always watching the same shows repetitively and he was uttering or echoing the words a lot, so we were like, hold on, I don't think this is normal. The fact that we learned so early helped us. We put him in special classes like one-on-one teaching therapy, speech therapy and in private classes with our friends’ kids.”
Eric is very proud of his son’s intellectual development (his doctors say that at four, Legend has the intellect of a second-grader) and how, in just a short time, he’s learned things so quickly like how to behave around people and in church.
Having a child with special needs, he says, means “that were chosen to be his parents. There are lessons that we need to learn as parents, that God wants us to learn. We’re super grateful for it. We have an opportunity to shape his future and we’re gladly enjoying the process.”
His advice to couples trying to conceive through IVF: “Nothing in life comes easy. And everything that comes, whether good or bad, is supposed to happen. Once you start looking at things from that perspective, you won’t be disappointed.”
Three generations
PLDT Home also helps Eric remain connected to his family, who are admittedly still seas apart, and let them know more about Legend.
When Legend was born, Eric called up his father in Melbourne and his dad said, “Great, now I have a team!”
Eric laughs and says, “He meant a rugby team or a basketball team with more players to spare. Legend has 14 cousins and is the youngest among the third generation.”
Every Father’s Day, Eric calls up his dad. His parents haven’t met Legend yet because of the pandemic, but the couple is planning to travel to Australia so the Tai boys can be reunited.
“Having my dad in my life is a blessing. Not everyone grows up with their father. To be raised by both parents is a truly an honor and a blessing.”
Since he became a father, he and Rona mark the day by celebrating at home. “We order food and a cake, we have a quiet celebration just the three of us.”
That sounds like a perfect day for a dad.
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