Atty. Mommy

MANILA, Philippines – Back in 1994, Maria Roma Flor Ortiz was preparing for her evening classes at the College of Law at the University of the East (UE). She made a mental note of everything she needed: shoulder bag, check. Law books, check. four-year-old daughter Gem Rose, check. On her third year in Law School, she would bring her daughter to a playschool in the mornings and then report to her classes in the afternoon with Gem Rose, some writing materials and toys in tow.

“I would bring her with me, during my 6 pm to 9 pm class, and I would always sit in front of the class because I did not want to be distracted from the discussions,” she narrates. While they had long tables that oftentimes kept the form of the sleeping child hidden from the professor’s view, there would be instances when she had to stand, sometimes during recitation. And so as not to disturb her daughter, the then 32-year-old mother cum Law student would repeatedly lightly tap the child on her leg.

Now at 47, lawyer-mom Roma looks back and admits that the period, from 1993 to 1996, was the most difficult years of her life. At that time, she was still nursing a broken heart after she parted ways with her husband. She became a single mother who was trying to raise their three-year-old daughter. To add to her burdens, she also had to give up her work and depend on her own savings and her mother Marina for financial assistance. She was struggling in Law which was not an easy course.

But while there might have been “episodes”of tears, loneliness and depression in her life, the lady lawyer says she has no regrets. She does not regret meeting her exhusband because without him, she would not have obtained her greatest joy, her daughter Gem Rose.

“I have no regrets. My motto is ‘life is short, be happy,” a cheerful Roma explains in an interview with The STAR in her office at the third floor of the Manila City Hall. She has been working here as one of the assistant city prosecutors for the last four years.

“I have always told my daughter that she completes me and that she is my life. Even before the ‘power hugs’ became popular, Gem Rose and I would have our ‘power kiss.’ Nawawala ang pagod ko whenever she kisses me. I am lucky to have a very sweet and loving daughter,” she adds.

Roma’s interest in the law may be traced from her family, having a couple of cousins who are now judges and an uncle who is also a lawyer. Roma took up her elementary, high school and Political Science course at the University of the Philippines. On her second year at the University of Sto.Tomas Faculty of Civil Law, she had to abandon her long time ambition to be a lawyer. She then went to Jeddah, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia where she met her husband.

Abroad, she worked as a medical legal secretary. Since her mother was also working there, they took turns taking care of her daughter. But there was a two-hour gap in their schedules when they had to hire baby sitter. But after spending six years in Jeddah, a family situation forced her to return to the Philippines. Her husband also came back two years later but they never met. Their marriage was annulled in 2000. It was her dire situation that pushed her  to return to her post-graduate course in Law. “I said to myself that if I cannot be happy with my love life, at least I would be happy with my career.” She also believes that going back to school was in accordance with God’s plan. “I cannot say if it was God’s will for me to go home and leave my husband. You see, when I was still in Jeddah I had a dream. I dreamt of my best friend Ma. Yvette Edith Navarro, who topped the bar exam in 1988, and told me to go home.” At first, she relied on her “support systems” such as cousins, aunt and friends for help. They would watch over Gem Rose whenever she goes to school, but one heart-stopping incident made her realize that she could not pass the responsibilities of raising her child to other people.

She came home late from class one evening, at around 10 pm., and discovered that her daughter was missing. “Grabe, parang nalaglag ang puso ko.” There was a miscommunication. Her friend thought that Gem Rose was with Roma and vice versa. They went to the play school where they were informed by the security guard that one of the teachers decided to bring the child home with her because no one picked her up.

Good thing, the teacher’s house was close by and they hurriedly fetched the girl. “I was so worried. I thought I had lost my daughter and that was the time when I realized that no other person has the responsibility to take care of my daughter other than me. No one would look after her safety, except me and that was the time when I decided to take her to my classes,” Roma says. During those early years, Roma also had to face another predicament: How will she explain to her young daughter why her father was not with them? “When she was young, I could not explain why she had no Daddy. When she was in Grade 1, I had to talk to her because there were already books with pictures of a ‘complete’ family made up of father, mother and child,” Roma says. “Nagalit ako sa mga libro na yun.

It was not right. I wanted to write letters to these publishing houses and tell them that a mother and a daughter could also become a complete family. I told my daughter that she belonged to a complete family and my mother, three brothers and their families and our relatives are part of the family,” she adds. To explain their situation, she used the colorful lives of showbiz personalities as examples. She says that she always considered herself as a strong woman.

“I have to be strong for my daughter. I don’t want her to see me weak.” All her hard work in Law school paid off when she passed the bar exam in 1998 and finally attained her dream of becoming a lawyer. Now, her daughter is 19 years old and seems to be following her footsteps. She is an incoming third-year Legal Management student. The Assistant City Prosecutor is very proud of her daughter who matches her in being industrious in her studies. “When she comes home from school, she would just rest for a while then hit the books, she has her own study area. I don’t even have to remind her to study and if I would stay up late reading until 1 am, she would do the same.

” Roma, herself, has not stopped studying. After becoming a lawyer, she took up her Masters of Laws at the Manuel L. Quezon University (MLQU) and is now taking up Doctor of Public Administration also at MLQU. She has also been teaching Law subjects at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines since 2007. “To become a teacher before I reach 50 is one of my dreams, it is something I also want to accomplish.” Now that Gem Rose has grown up, Roma says, “We treat each other as friends. She knows everything about my life and she can tell me anything – even her deepest secret. She should tell it to me and not her friends because I would better understand her.” Despite the struggles and the challenges that she has to face as a single mom, Roma says that she is now happy with the way her life turned out. She fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer and has a daughter whom she adores and who adored her back. “As I said my life revolves around my daughter. She is my world. Sometimes I would pray to the Lord that when He decides to take me, could He please wait until my daughter is already capable of taking care of herself.”