Addicted to pushing others

You are behind a driver who doesn’t immediately step on the gas when traffic clears, so what do you do? Wait for the car to move? Honk your horn? Or just ignore the driver while your blood pressure climbs 10 points?

Rushing, pushing and pressuring others to get moving becomes an addiction that only you can break. When marriage and family therapist Erik Johnson began expressing his pent-up frustrations in his driving, his wife complained. Others saw his stress and anger, but not him. “Managing my emotions would be easy,” he said, “if others would stop pushing my buttons!”

Erik started thinking about his life, understanding that the pent-up feelings didn’t begin when he turned the key to start the car. His emotional baggage was with him all along and the traffic simply intensified them. He’s not alone in his struggles, either.

The problem is that we take on too much, allow the pressure to build, then transfer our stress to others.

Try the following ideas to break free:

Ask whether your expectations are realistic. What you can do, others may not be able to accomplish, and to be angry with them or berate them only creates a tension that can escalate out of control.

Unload the excess weight of your life. Program some “down time” to smell the flowers, to sit and relax and reflect on God’s blessings in your life.

Prioritize your expectations. Make three categories for a list: a “must do,” a “should do” and an “I’ll do it when I can.” When your “must do” is too long, you know you are facing a potential problem. Stop pushing. Then those around you will be more relaxed and joyful, too.