Principles of conflict resolution

“Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.”       2 Corinthians 13:11 kjv

  An aphorism goes: “Living with the saints above may be glory, but living with the saints below is quite another story.” It’s true. But maybe you’re thinking, “I thought Christians weren’t supposed to fight and argue!” That’s not quite the reality of the situation, nor has it ever been.

The Bible is full of stories of individuals who had conflicts. Even the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost didn’t change human nature. The progress of the Early Church seemed unstoppable until Paul and Barnabas came back from their first major missionary trip and told of the remarkable conversions of Gentiles in Acts 15.

“Did you say, ‘Gentiles’?” some said. That very word was inflammatory. “Salvation is of the Jews! We can‘t accept Gentiles unless they submit to the Jewish law!”

Thankfully, this issue was peacefully resolved and from it, we see five steps to conflict resolution:

Step 1: Have an open discussion. Ignoring issues never makes them go away; admit there is a problem and confront the issue.

Step 2: Acknowledge your differences without blame. Obviously you have different opinions; otherwise, one of you would be unnecessary.

Step 3: Seek the mind of God. When you submit your will to the High Court of Heaven, it is amazing how quickly what you want pales in light of His solution.

Step 4: Be willing to form a consensus. Find the middle ground. Holding on to your views usually leaves you bitter enemies and divided.

Step 5: Once an issue is settled, abide by the decision. Once the early church’s conflict was resolved, Dr. Luke wrote, “It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us...” (Acts 15:28).

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 3:2-6