When asked about his thoughts on death, comedian Woody Allen said, "I am not afraid of dying–I just don’t want to be there when it happens." Allen isn’t alone. A century before him, Mark Twain is reported to have said that he wished he knew where he was going to die because he would never go near the place.
It is strange, isn’t it, how little time or thought we put into the issue of what lies beyond our last heartbeat, almost as though by ignoring the whole issue, it ceases to exist? I’m encouraged that in recent days the issue of dying, called "the last taboo" by Bill and Judith Moyers, is beginning to get our attention. For several years these two have interviewed people about death and dying, and through their writings, they are attempting to bring people into confrontation with the choices that ultimately have to be made –either by themselves or by someone else. The issues cannot be avoided forever.
I, for one, am glad we’ve begun to talk about the issue. My parents’ generation refused to talk about our humanity. After spending a week in Colorado with my dad prior to his death and several more days there following his funeral, I returned home. My wife’s parents, who lived near us, were wonderful, godly people. As a pastor, Guy Duffield had stood over the caskets of scores of people, but in the days that followed, never once was there a mention of my dad’s death or what we went though. Finally, my wife asked, "Why haven’t we been able to talk about this?" Her parents’ fear was that talking about it would make us feel worse.
Talking about troublesome issues is therapy! When you ventilate your fears, thoughts and frustrations, it lessens the sting. Avoiding the subject doesn’t lessen the pain; it compounds it.
Seldom do people have a game plan when it comes to death and dying. Possibly they have a will, but chances are it is one that was drawn up years before. Knowing where you are going and where you will be five minutes after you die can give you freedom to talk about death and heaven, your new home. The freedom to share will be a blessing to the generation left behind as well as to the one taking the journey. Following the death of a loved one, people often frantically turn pages of the Bible saying, "I know there’s something in this book about heaven. I just don’t know where." Find out ahead of time. Study the Word together. Talk about the past, the present, and the future.
Decide ahead of time who will make decisions if the time comes you can’t. This includes advising the hospital as to your wishes about resuscitating a loved one should his heart fail. What are your wishes regarding being connected to a life support system? What kind of medical treatment do you want or don’t want? Your failure to decide means that medical personnel will make the decision at the time, and once a procedure is undertaken, it is difficult and emotionally painful for your family to reverse it. Plan the memorial service with the realization that it is to bring comfort and strength to those you leave behind. Those are decisions you need to make now.
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints," says Psalm 116:15. If it is precious to God, it should be meaningful to us as His children. While the homegoing of God’s children is filled with mystery and awe, it is also a spiritual experience of great dimensions.
Resource reading: 1 Thessalonians 5