Whatever happened to civility?

"Eli’s sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the Lord."

1 Samuel 2:12

He was all of six years old when his daddy asked him to stop doing something. The boy continued what he was doing as though he was stone-deaf. The father repeated the request, and again was ignored by his son. After the third request, the boy decided it was time to do something. He walked over to his dad, doubled up his fist and punched him in the stomach. And do you know what? The corporate executive who was vice-president of a company producing aircraft choked on his cigar and almost apologetically said, "Now please don’t do that, Curtis. These folks will think that you are not a nice boy!" I saw this myself, believe it or not.

Children who dictate to parents, parents who thumb their noses at civility and a society that takes out its hostilities on those who are weaker than they are, are all symptoms of a sickness which is tearing us apart.

"Whatever happened to civility?" asks a newsmagazine. Another feature story reads, "In Your Face," with a subheading, "Whatever Happened to Good Manners?" The majority of peo-ple today feel that a lack of civility and courtesy is a major problem; however, most people think that the problem lies in how other people act, not in themselves.

What is civility? Our English words civilization and civil come from a Latin word civis or civitas meaning citizen or government. In time, it came to mean "good breeding, politeness, consideration or courtesy". It also means a "polite act or utterance". Civility is the glue that holds a society together; it makes it safe for children to play in the park; it allows a woman the safety necessary to walk the streets without an escort.

The opposite of civility is rudeness, vulgarity and profanity–all of which have become far more common than its opposite. Civility is something that is learned; it is not inherited or absorbed by living in a free country. It is a conscious choice. It is something that is learned, and the sooner the better. But today, for many who have been unfortunate enough to grow up without learning what civility is, their respect for parents disintegrates, and eventually teachers, policemen and the weak become targets of abuse.

What’s the solution? While you may not change the world, you can change your attitude, and control the environment of your home, office and classroom. You can choose to act with decency and civility regardless of how uncouth, vulgar or rude others are.

In recent days a strange thing has happened: Society has begun to associate civility with "right-wing Christianity". If the foundation of civility is treating others as you would like them to treat you, then perhaps the charges may stick. Jesus said, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12). Resource Reading: 1 Samuel 2:12-36