Give me your child until he is six
February 9, 2003 | 12:00am
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it... " – Proverbs 22:6
John Watson, one of the most controversial psychologists of all time, once wrote, "Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in, and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select–regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors."
In the old battle of nature versus nurture, Watson obviously came down strongly on the side of nurture. Environment, not heredity, thought Watson, shapes the destiny of people. In recent years, as behavioral studies have provided more and more information on the parenting process, we have come to realize that no matter what the environment is, heredity remains a powerful factor. Take, for example, twins who are separated at birth with one of them raised by one family, another raised in a completely different environment. Yet as adults both have the same tastes in clothing, food and entertainment.
Nonetheless, Watson draws attention to a powerful truth. What you do with your infant in the early years of his or her life profoundly influences what happens later in life. As the sapling is bent, so goes the tree. Is this truth new? It’s about as old as 3,000 years, for at that time the writer of Proverbs wrote these words: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).
If you have children under age six, stop and ask yourself some tough questions: Are you training your child, or simply letting him or her grow up? Taking the path of least resistance because you are too tired or too busy to train him or her, or doing the right thing regardless of how tired you may be?
Discipline, instruction, taking your child to church, reading to him or her, doing the same thing over and over, day after day, is not easy. It’s hard–time-consuming and physically taxing. But it’s worth it. You win or lose a lot of territory before your child reaches six years.
"A child learns half of everything he knows by age three; three-fourths by age seven," say psychologists. They are not talking about cognitive recall: algebra, computer science, or how to change spark plugs on an automobile. They are talking about the limits of acceptable behavior, right and wrong, what is rewarded and what is punished.
It’s easy to be a parent, tough to be a good one; but there is one thing for certain: Once you are a parent, you are a parent. Having made a human being in your image, you bear the responsibility for that child.
A final thought: God honors the commitment of your time, effort, prayers and care. Though it seems that a pre-school youngster will never grow up, you’ll look back and be amazed how quickly those years went. Don’t waste them.
Resource Reading: Proverbs 12
John Watson, one of the most controversial psychologists of all time, once wrote, "Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in, and I’ll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select–regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations, and race of his ancestors."
In the old battle of nature versus nurture, Watson obviously came down strongly on the side of nurture. Environment, not heredity, thought Watson, shapes the destiny of people. In recent years, as behavioral studies have provided more and more information on the parenting process, we have come to realize that no matter what the environment is, heredity remains a powerful factor. Take, for example, twins who are separated at birth with one of them raised by one family, another raised in a completely different environment. Yet as adults both have the same tastes in clothing, food and entertainment.
Nonetheless, Watson draws attention to a powerful truth. What you do with your infant in the early years of his or her life profoundly influences what happens later in life. As the sapling is bent, so goes the tree. Is this truth new? It’s about as old as 3,000 years, for at that time the writer of Proverbs wrote these words: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).
If you have children under age six, stop and ask yourself some tough questions: Are you training your child, or simply letting him or her grow up? Taking the path of least resistance because you are too tired or too busy to train him or her, or doing the right thing regardless of how tired you may be?
Discipline, instruction, taking your child to church, reading to him or her, doing the same thing over and over, day after day, is not easy. It’s hard–time-consuming and physically taxing. But it’s worth it. You win or lose a lot of territory before your child reaches six years.
"A child learns half of everything he knows by age three; three-fourths by age seven," say psychologists. They are not talking about cognitive recall: algebra, computer science, or how to change spark plugs on an automobile. They are talking about the limits of acceptable behavior, right and wrong, what is rewarded and what is punished.
It’s easy to be a parent, tough to be a good one; but there is one thing for certain: Once you are a parent, you are a parent. Having made a human being in your image, you bear the responsibility for that child.
A final thought: God honors the commitment of your time, effort, prayers and care. Though it seems that a pre-school youngster will never grow up, you’ll look back and be amazed how quickly those years went. Don’t waste them.
Resource Reading: Proverbs 12
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