The beautiful sisterhood of Nenita & Candida
My mother found a best friend in her eldest sister Nenita. In life and in death, they were never apart. Last week, seven months after my mother’s passing, Tita Itang, 83, followed her. I can only imagine the burst of their laughter in heaven.
Her real name is Ma. Nenita Dinulos Carasus. She was a retired college teacher with expertise in Filipino grammar and literature. To my siblings and I, she was simply Tita Itang — forever there to help us with our needs when we were younger. In our adult life, we returned the favor by being there for her until the day she died.
To her sister Candida, she was simply “Ate.”
In the short list of Candida’s habilin before her passing, Tita Itang figured prominently. “Huwag n’yong kakalimutan ang Tita Itang ninyo. At ang inyong T’yong Hando (Don’t forget your Tita Itang. Also your T’yong Hando).” T’yong Hando is their youngest sibling, now 72.
Tita Itang and my mother proved that sisterhood is a commitment, a relationship, a blessing. My mother said they never fought, not even once. Tita Itang said they never had samaan ng loob (grudges), not even once.
Their very young lives exposed them to hardship. They weathered it together. In the process, they discovered that they were each other’s strength. In Candida’s weakest moments in the hospital, she looked for her Ate. In Nenita’s weakest moments in the hospital, recalled Tita Itang’s youngest son Novie and eldest grandchild Lovely, she was calling the name of her sister Candida.
From the time each of them owned a cellphone, not a day would pass without them calling each other. Long before Messenger video calls, the two sisters would call each other each day, sometimes up to four times, saving cellphone loads enough for at least a 10-minute call.
When we heard our mother at home say, “Loadan n’yo nga please ang cellphone ko (Please load call credits on my phone),” what she meant was she wanted to check on her Ate.
Pure joy was exhibited by my mother on the phone every time she was talking to Tita Itang.
When there was a storm — “Hello, Ate. How are you there? I hope your roof is not leaking,” Candida would say in the vernacular. And even when a branch fell to the ground in our backyard due to strong winds, Candida would annotate the event to her sister as a TV reporter would to the viewers.
When there was power supply failure in Cabuyao — “Hello, Ate. Stay put in your room. It’s dark, hard to move around.” And when electricity was restored, they would be on the phone again.
When there was an earthquake — “Hello, Dadeng. Are you okay? Did you feel the earthquake?” Tita Itang would ask her sister.
When Tita Itang, also known as Mrs. Carasus to her students, felt bored — “Hello, Dadeng. Anong balita (What’s happening there)?” Then when there was not much to talk about, Tita Itang would begin discussing the fate of her students in class.
When Tita Itang had an important announcement — “Hello, Dadeng. Hello! Your signal is weak. Call me back. I have an important story to tell you.”
When food was aplenty at home — “Hello, Ate. I’m sending you and Hando food. You each have a paper bag of menudo, hamonado, tilapia, upo, patola… Stand by your gate in 20 minutes and wait for the person who will deliver it.”
When Tita Itang had already received the package — “Hello, Dadeng. Thank you. I already asked Hando to come over to get his share.”
When it was the day of San Isidro — “Hello, Dadeng. Come to the house. We have your favorite food for the fiesta.”
When Candida would visit Our Lady of Manaoag in Pangasinan or the Shrine of Padre Pio in Batangas — “Hello, Ate. Dress up. We will fetch you. We’re going to church.”
When my mother was late to pick up her Ate — “Hello, Candida! Where are you? I’ve been waiting. My makeup has already smeared.”
When Tita Itang represented San Isidro in an LGU-sponsored beauty contest for senior citizens — “Hello, Dadeng! I won the crown in Gandang Lola. I am now a beauty queen — at my age of 66! Everybody was beautiful but I think it was my answer to the Q&A that made me win. Politely, I corrected the question of the emcee because the phrasing was not proper. Palakpakan, hiyawan ang mga tao sa plaza sa sagot ko (People in the plaza were clapping, shouting because of my answer)! Hello! Hello! Hello! Can you still hear me? Ayy, lintyak, wala na pala akong load (Gosh, I have no more load credits).”
When Candida heard her Ate’s favorite song on the radio — “Hello, Ate. Tulak ng Bibig, Kabig ng Dibdib is being played.” (My mother would make the volume louder as both of them silently listened to the song. It would be a bonus if the next song was Ang Tangi Kong Pag-ibig, another favorite of Tita Itang.)
When it was Tita Itang hearing the favorite song of her younger sister — “Hello, Dadeng. Jo Stafford is singing No Other Love. (And that would be enough for the sisters to talk about their stories of love or the stories about their departed husbands.)
Near or far, Nenita and Candida were never remiss in expressing their love for each other. In sickness and in health, they were there for each other. For richer or for poorer, they stood by each other. In life and death, they were sisters.
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