Taking love to heart

During Angelo Santos and Janna Katipunan’s wedding last January, something very unique happened on the way to the altar. The pretty flower girl marched down the aisle carrying not a bouquet but a streamer proclaiming, “Gelo, here comes your high school sweetheart.”

For indeed, the radiant Janna and the handsome Gelo have been in love since their high school days at the OB Montessori in Greenhills.

So, on their wedding day, Gelo told his bride: “Finally, this is the day that we both have been waiting for. After 11 years, I finally get to promise myself to you. I promise to love you and care for you, I promise to be not just good, but the best husband, the best father to our children, your best lover, provider, travel buddy, your best friend and your best punching bag. But most of all, I promise to be truthful and loyal to you at all times. I love you so much.”

Janna’s response was no less eloquent: “Gelo, we’ve been together for 11 years now, and yet I still thank God each day for giving me you. You are my best friend, my one true love. My first, and definitely my last. I promise to love you, to honor you, respect you, encourage you, and cherish you for all the days of my life. Thank you for making my dreams come true. It’s you and me forever. I love you.”

So you can see why Gelo was overcome with emotion as the doors of the church opened and he first caught a glimpse of Janna, daughter of Capt. Benjamin and Len Katipunan, as a resplendent bride. Instead of Gelo, son of the late Miguel Santos, wiping the tears off his mother Tess Santos Coffill’s cheeks (as most mothers of the groom shed copious tears on their son’s wedding day), it was the loving Tess who gently wiped off the happy tears on Gelo’s cheeks.

What a lucky man to have two wonderful women now tenderly looking after him!

They say a man who treats his wife like a princess was raised by a queen. In that sense, Tess Santos Coffill, wife of Dave Coffill and the incredibly efficient assistant of the late STAR publisher Max Soliven, is every inch a queen!

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What makes a marriage or a union last? Ligaya Salonga, the mom of Lea Salonga told me it is “the luck of the draw.” Sometimes, you have all the best ingredients for a perfect union, the right temperature, and yet it falls flat.

There are also unlikely combinations that end up winners in the game of love.

But to reduce the risks and chances — I believe there’s an element of risk in every endeavor where the stakes are high — take to heart the following tips from various people who are in or were in a meaningful union:

1. “A good son is a good husband,” according to Claudia  Bezerra de Souza, a Brazilian model now wife to Cebuano Martin Yeung of Kandaya Resort. “I saw how much Martin loves his family, especially his mother Mariquita,” Claudia tells Büm Tenorio Jr. in the cover story of the latest issue of PeopleAsia magazine.

2. “We give each other space. What’s the use of staying together if you don’t trust each other?” shares Pangasinan Rep. Gina de Venecia on the success of her marriage to five-time Speaker Joe de Venecia. They have been together since 1983 and have supported each other through thick and thin — including through the aftermath of the tragic death of their daughter KC.

3. “Laughter is the secret to a successful marriage,” Sen. Sonny Angara says of his happy union with the former Tootsy Echauz. He tells PeopleAsia, “When we have fun together, that’s when I realize I can grow old with Tootsy.” The Angaras, who are working parents, have been married for over 11 years and have two sons and a daughter.

4. Many (including my husband Ed) believe in the saying, “A happy life is a happy wife.” And many believe (I guess, including Ed) that when the woman is like a “geisha” to her partner, the union endures.

Zsa Zsa Padilla and architect Conrad Onglao have been playing beautiful music together for almost a year now.

He tells PeopleAsia why their union is built on stone: “That second nature of being thoughtful, of serving, that is something that comes from the heart. It’s automatic. Ever since, Zsa Zsa has been doing that for me.”

5. Former Press Undersecretary Deedee Siytangco, who was happily married to businessman Sonny Siytangco for 29 years before he passed away in 2005, is willing to be quoted by PeopleAsia on this: Sex is an important part of marriage.

She says: “You must not only be a spouse to your husband. You must also be a friend and a mistress. Husbands have fantasies. Better that it’s the two of you who fulfill these fantasies instead of him fulfilling them with someone else!”

As my late father-in-law Carlos Ramirez, who was married to my late mother-in-law Lutgarda Quintans for 60 years, said to me once, “There is no secret.”

The secret is out: You have to work at it, but at the end of the day, play hard and laugh a lot.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
(You may e-mail me at [email protected].)