Do not postpone love

Do not postpone happiness. Do not postpone expressions of love, forgiveness and pride. Because the only sure moment you have is now.

In October last year, Oscar and Olympia “Bootsie” Violago celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.  Last week, Oca was a bereaved widower commemorating the 40th day after Bootsie’s demise.

  The couple intended to hold their 40th wedding celebration this year, as last year, their hotel of choice was not available on the dates they preferred. But Oscar found out shortly before their wedding anniversary that he had prostate cancer. Bootsie was also suffering from Parkinson’s. And so they both decided, “Why wait?” In seven days, the Violagos and their children planned the 40th wedding anniversary and it was a sweet success!

According to his Ateneo classmate, Ambassador Jose “Toto” Zaide, the young Bootsie was a match for Oca, a young man of impossible dreams. “She had what Fr. Horatio dela Costa, S.J., said of the Two Jewels of the Philippines — our faith and our music. The family prayed the rosary daily for redemption of souls from purgatory.”

  Even as her Parkinson’s advanced, she kept her music, adding more to her repertoire of over 100 titles. One of her favorite songs for Oca was Two For The Road. When he couldn’t sleep from worry, her nightingale voice would sing a lullaby to him.  You see, there was a time when the roof over their heads — their grand home in Corinthian Gardens that would be all aglow on Christmas with countless Tivoli lights — was almost foreclosed. But in that same month in 2010 that their fabulous house was to be foreclosed, they received news of a settlement from a 10-year-old lawsuit. Their home was saved.

But Bootsie’s condition did not improve. The family visited all known pilgrim sites and prayed for intercession of all the saints, including the just departed Rev. Fr. James B. Reuter, S.J. But after three years of bearing up with consultations, medication, therapy, walks, stem cell treatments, to please the family, Olympia “Bootsie” Violago (nee Cruz) returned to her Creator last March 11.

Fr. Ben Nebres, S.J. and Fr. Bel  San Luis, SVD, concelebrated the Mass on the 40th day of Bootsie’s passing away. Camille Lopez Molina sang celestial hymns and Chino Gutierrez played the violin. 

Oca would add his own “homily,” telling the guests how he and his children found solace in a solitary butterfly that followed them home and for the next two days traipsed around the living room, flirting as it were, and occasionally parking on Bootsie’s life-size canvas portrait. 

More comfort would come when the Sto. Niño family chapel on E. Rodriguez Ave. (which was also saved from foreclosure) was visited by the pilgrim relics of St. Therese. (On the eve of the visit, Oca petitioned for assurance that Bootsie is in heaven… like a sign of a red rose.) One of the pall bearers of the reliquary, Oca’s classmate Min Hippolito, found red rose petals on the carriage bearing the pilgrim relics… and gave them to Oca.

This would happen again after the farewell Mass and departure honors of the pilgrim relics at the Shrine of St. Therese. Oca again petitioned for the same sign of a red rose, but he didn’t receive one despite the garden of red roses from devotees at the Shrine.  One hour later, Luisa Kochel Zaide arrived to hand him two long-stemmed roses. 

Recently, a strange message came from a friend who espied Anthony Jude’s car with plate NR AJ22 driven by a distinguished looking Asian lady. On questioning, the source later admitted that she looked like Bootsie.  (Oca quipped that Bootsie better not drive their son’s Rolls Royce Ghost without a license.)

Finally, Oca shared a dream of Bootsie whispering that since she was a good and church-going wife, a loving mother, and doting grandmother… she must be in heaven.  Because, if not, “the bar must have been raised so high that only saints and monks could enter,” Toto Zaide exclaimed. (To which another of Oca’s Ateneo classmates Gary Lising amen-ed, “Eh, papano naman ako?!”)

Oca concluded that the two signs of roses and the convergence of events were St. Therese’s assurance that his beloved was in the bosom of the Lord.

Judge Pete Santiago once said that the greatest miracles in Lourdes are not the countless who are cured and leave their crutches in the cave… but of those whose petitions for cure are not realized… and leave the pilgrim site with their faith deepened. 

Oca, who is doing well despite his prostate cancer, confirms it. “Yes, I lost Bootsie, sooner than I was ready for.  But I have not lost my faith. Her leaving only deepens my understanding of God’s saving grace.” And as if still talking to Bootsie, Oca whispered, “You know that after you left I cannot have my heaven on earth, anymore. But I know that you wait for me there…”

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