'I do, take two'
There’s troubling news about terror plots, malaria and Afghanistan, but all these are taking a backseat to the announcement of the engagement of Britain’s Prince William to longtime girlfriend, the stunning brunette Kate Middleton.
And why not? This is the type of feel-good news that sells, the one that makes the future look rosy, the one that makes ordinary people believe in happily-ever-afters. We need this kind of an episode in our lives, when news, too often, is dominated by terror plots, financial meltdowns, natural disasters and massacres. A royal wedding, an unspoken hope that this future heir to the throne will get it right the first time (unlike his father) and that the future princess will glow in the limelight, and not be drowned by it.
We all love, and crave for, second chances. It’s what tomorrow is all about. The William-Kate (Wilkat?) engagement is like a second try to make a successful fairy tale out of a royal match, despite the challenges of a fishbowl existence. It will be an “I do, take two” for two generations — of Windsors and royal watchers alike — who want the marriage to work out this time.
Public figures play out the hopes and dreams of ordinary folk like us and we hope for happy endings all the time. Millions who were thrilled (kilig) at the grand 1981 wedding of Charles and Diana, and were crushed at their break-up, are still around today, looking to William and Kate not to flub the script of the fairy tale this time.
In a way, William and Kate will be re-enacting the romance of Charles and Diana, and by playing their cards right, they will be redeeming it. If you read accounts of Charles and Diana’s love story, you will be crushed, because you will see it could have been mended along the way if both parties got the right advice and followed it.
Prince William is his parents’ redemption — stable, grounded and with a heart that doesn’t forget the lessons of the past. He is as normal as he can get considering his birthright. In an interview with Tom Bradby of ITV News, he revealed he wanted Kate to get used to the life royals have (and I’m not just taking about ladies-in-waiting and summers at Balmoral) before he popped the question. He had learned from the mistakes of the past — not his but his parents, and to an extent, his grandparents, who had reportedly underestimated his mother, in life and in death. And William seems to have not taken the side of one parent over the other. He is said to be close to his father while still honoring the memory of his mother.
He is also aware that Kate will never be able to fill in the shoes of his mother — and she doesn’t have to.
Bradby asked Kate: “You are obviously going to enter this family, the most famous royal family in the world. William’s mother was this massive iconic figure. The most famous figure of our age, is that worrying? Is that intimidating?”
“Obviously I would have loved to have met her and she’s obviously an inspirational woman to look up to,” Kate replied.
And William immediately threw in his support for the woman he loves, a commoner by the way, by saying: “There’s no pressure though. There’s no pressure, like Kate said it is about carving your own future. No one is trying to fill my mother’s shoes, what she did was fantastic. It’s about making your own future and your own destiny and Kate will do a very good job of that.”
After his mother died, William is said to have only asked for one thing from her possessions — her sapphire and diamond engagement ring. And he chose it to be his fiancee’s engagement ring so that his mother, who obviously would not be part of the celebration (she would have only been 51 years old during the wedding) “would not miss out” on it.
“It’s my mother’s engagement ring so I thought it was quite nice because obviously she’s not going to be around to share any of the fun and excitement of it all — this was my way of keeping her close to it all,” he told Bradby.
Whether you’re William, or President Noynoy Aquino, you will always have multitudes more interested in your love life than your duties. That’s just how the world spins.
Love is the axis around which our world spins.
It was also a “take two” for me — but with the same partner, Ed Ramirez. On Nov. 16, 25 years ago, Ed and I were married at the Paco Park chapel in Manila. It’s been quite at journey since then — smooth sailing for the most part, rough at others. But always, love was the keel that kept our marriage steady, stable and afloat.
In his homily during the Mass for our renewal of vows, Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD said that marriages succeed because they are 70-30 partnerships. It cannot be 50-50. There will be times when either the husband or the wife has to give more than the other — patience, understanding, sacrifice. He chose a pair of wooden chopstick to symbolize a marriage. One chopstick cannot function without the other.
Happy times and sad times intertwine in our lives, they are inseparable. But they make the fiber of our marriage stronger so that we, ultimately, become happier. The year 2010 is one such example of how we made, and continue to make, joy and sorrow co-exist in our lives. My father Frank Mayor died four months ago. It was devastating. He would have been proud to be at our silver wedding.
On Nov. 26 this year, Joanna, our prematurely-born daughter (she was 3 ½ months premature) would have turned 18. It would have been her debut. But I lost her just 10 days after our seventh wedding anniversary in 1992. So each time Ed and I mark an anniversary, we know that in a few days, we will mark Joanna’s passage into eternal life. November is a bittersweet month for us.
But such is life, the happy times and the sad times are inextricable. The sad times all the more highlight the joyous ones, so that we feel the bliss more vividly.
Last Nov. 13 (three days before the actual day), Ed and I renewed our vows before family and close friends at a storybook setting, at the Veranda of the Splendido Golf Club in Tagaytay, with magnificent Taal Lake as backdrop. It had been raining for days and so I prayed to Dad and Joanna to ask God to give us good weather. In a way, I also wanted to know if they were still around for Ed and me.
Lo and behold, Nov. 13 emerged — sunny, cool and glorious. God had ordered a ceasefire with the rains.
As Ed and I walked up the aisle, I looked up to the heavens and I knew. I knew Dad and my little angel Joanna were there and it was going to be perfect day.
It was.
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(You may e-mail me at [email protected])
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