Stefan

This holiest of weekends, when we reflect on the true meaning of Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection, and our own redemption, I’d like to share with you a story of how suffering can turn into glory, as relayed by Cherry Mapua Osmeña.

Cherry and her husband Mike, who passed away in 2007, were blessed with a special child. But in the beginning, they did not know he was special, and so the couple were faced with everyday challenges that could have sapped the strength out of them. How, for instance, would you deal with a child with an IQ of 160 who would lock himself up in a classroom and would refuse to speak to anyone but his teacher?

In this poignant speech she delivered during her son Stefan’s graduation from the Kennedy International School of Business and Language in Alabang, Cherry shared how unconditional love and sacrifice can redeem a child from a life of gloom and into a life of glory.

As she said during her speech on Stef’s graduation, “As a widow since 2007 this graduation is a poignant victory which I offer to my late husband, Mike, who would have been so proud to be seated amongst you this memorable afternoon.”

Here are excerpts from Cherry’s speech:

When I was asked to speak at my son’s graduation, I was worried...not because I would have nothing to say...but I would have too many things to say! You know how mothers are when we talk about our own children...we can go on...and on...and on! 

Seriously, I was very honored when asked to speak before all of you today because this testimony is not only a means for me to share some valuable insights and thoughts but to honor and thank the many people who have made today possible for so many special kids. You know who you are and we all thank you!

The fact that I am standing here today is doubly sweet as my two older sons and I feel like we, too, went through high school for the second time, having embarked on the mission to be the home team, the back-up support that Stefan needed to make it through.

There’s this urban legend going ‘round Kennedy High, of a high school senior who isolates himself in one of the classrooms on the third floor. The story goes that this student talks to no one but his teacher and occasionally bars the classroom door with a chair. The story goes that he does this to avoid being disturbed by curious members of the student body.

Well, believe it or not, it is no legend. It is the truth. My 16-year-old son, who graduates today, Stefan Michael Mapua Osmeña, seated on the second row at the very far right of this auditorium, is that student.

Stefan was born with an uncommon condition called Asperger’s Syndrome.

“Asperger Syndrome (AS) is a neurobiological disorder that is part of a group of conditions called autism spectrum disorders. The term “autism spectrum” refers to a range of developmental disabilities that includes autism as well as other disorders with similar characteristics.

“The disorder is named after Hans Asperger, a Viennese pediatrician who, in 1940, first described a set of behavior patterns apparent in some of his patients, mostly males. Asperger noticed that although these boys had normal to above average intelligence and language development, they had severely impaired social skills, were unable to communicate effectively with others, and had poor coordination.

Stefan was diagnosed a few years ago and is therefore an “Aspy,” an endearing term for those who have Asperger’s Syndrome.

Everyone is unique, even those with Asperger’s Syndrome. Stefan has strengths and weaknesses like all of us...like you and me.

He has highly developed cognitive abilities because his brain is wired differently...unlike you and me.

He can process, analyze and synthesize information with lightning speed...unlike you and me.

He has a remarkable memory that allows him to retain information like mathematical formulas, chemical and physics equations, details and facts that he can pull out from his brain the way a magician pulls out rabbits from a hat...unlike you and me.

But unlike you and me, Stefan is socially disabled. The part of his brain that processes social skills and nuances of human interaction, is not working.

Unlike you and me, Stefan faces daily challenges when he deals with people and oftentimes gets nervous and anxious when in a room full of strangers. His social interactions continue to be difficult and he has trouble demonstrating empathy for others.

It was only when Stefan was accepted by Kennedy on his second year of high school that his world changed. All his previous schools did not meet his needs in regular classroom environments. Stefan needed to learn productively in an environment that allowed him to bloom in his own special way.

After consulting with principal Nes Catbagan and the school’s president, Tomas Banaga, a tailor-fitted curriculum, modified learning environment and an extremely patient mentor/ teacher, were assigned to help Stefan flourish in his new environment. They must have seen in Stefan a potential to learn in the unique campus that Kennedy offers.

Because Stefan was socially disabled and would be nervous and have panic attacks when in a classroom with other students, he was assigned to be the lone student in a classroom on the third floor.

He was allowed to study at his own speed and was given allowances when unable to meet schedules and deadlines.

He was assigned a creative, upbeat and innovative teacher, Teacher Kharmie, who was mentor, part cheerleader as well as motivator.

The understanding and patience of the school allowed Stef to hurdle every passing school year with more confidence and aplomb.

Who knows what he will accomplish one day, sometime in the future, if he just sets his mind to it? Everything is possible if you steadfastly and creatively work on your goals and your dreams and do so despite your limitations and your disabilities.

Graduates, in several months time, you will move on to college... a whole new world for you all to conquer. Who knows, you may see a solitary figure in one of the classrooms, studying diligently with furrowed brows. And if he looks like someone familiar, someone you used to see at Kennedy High, simply smile and wave. He may be just like you, struggling to complete his units in college despite his disabilities and shortcomings.

Special kids are all around us...some may look like regular kids and have no physical differences to separate them from you and me. What they need, to level the playing field with everyone else, is tolerance and acceptance. Every special child is someone’s son or daughter, someone’s brother or sister, someone’s grandson or grand-daughter.

He or she is someone special who belongs to a family that loves, nurtures and respects them...just like you and me.

Just like you and me, they have every right to be happy, to reach their dreams and to develop positive relationships.

As a parent and advocate for children with special needs, I would like to thank the school and the team involved in helping make today possible. Thank you for helping our special kids who, despite their eccentricities and disabilities, are like bright threads in the rich tapestry of life.

(You may e-mail me at [email protected])