Simplifying

On my birthday last week, I took a monumental step. I had my hair cut. Not just trimmed or layered. Cut. I had worn my hair down to my shoulder blades for almost half a decade. Today, it is just below my chin and shorter behind, an attempt to look “Posh” (as in Beckham).

I had been thinking of a haircut for quite some time now but took the great leap of faith just last week. Many things in life are like that. You mull over a decision, sometimes agonize over it. Then one day, it takes just a second’s hesitation, then another second of, “Okay, let’s do it” and then there’s no turning back. Life is changed forever. A haircut is perhaps the only superficial act that has so many underlying, life-altering consequences. Unlike makeup, there is no trial session. Once you lose it, you’re stuck with what remains of it. (But hair, like many things in life, grows back. With hair, you’ll always get a second chance. Oh, for more things in life to be like hair!)

Daring to have a haircut is a reflection of other things. It’s not just your locks that get a shakedown, a slash, a twirl, a cut. It’s you who wants a change. It’s a reflection of a need to edit and shape things in your life — for the better.

That’s why you have to trust your stylist the way you trust your gynecologist.

Because after a haircut, you wake up each day and stare at a new person in the mirror. I like to believe that that person looks younger, which in the month that my only son is graduating from university, is of paramount importance. My haircut also comes at a point in my life when I am simplifying my schedule and taking stock of what matters most.

I have been cleaning closets and editing my clothes, bags and accessories (After all, I have made a living these past 20 years as an editor!). I have been plumbing the depths of my bauls, unearthing old pictures and gifts that should have been recycled a long time ago. Once, I even unearthed $300 (not pesos) from an old bag (I remember I changed money for a balikbayan relative and kept it in that bag). See, when you de-clutter you gain more than just space!

Now, I have a new rule at home. Everything should have a place. If it has no place in a cabinet or drawer, (unless you’re talking furniture or appliances), it has to go. Either you empty the cabinet of stuff to make way for the new, or give the object away. For such is life -— when you give things away, you make room for new blessings.

Maybe it’s mid-life angst, this simplification that I am trying to maintain in my life the way I do my tretinoin regimen. I say, so what? Better to look like Posh Spice than Old Spice!

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I recently chanced upon the Zen Habits website, which listed down 72 ways to simplify your life and rid it of clutter.

“A simple life — means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.”

However, getting to simplicity isn’t always a simple process. It’s a journey, not a destination, and it can often be a journey of two steps forward, and one backward. Don’t expect my house to be so beautifully edited yet — it’s a daily process of simplifying.

For those who say that 72 steps is too long, there are really only two steps to simplifying, according to Zen followers:

1. Identify what’s most important to you.

2. Eliminate everything else.

For those who prefer a longer list, I picked my favorite steps from the list of 72.

Don’t stress out about all the steps. Just choose one at a time, and focus on that. When you’re done with that, focus on the next thing. Here goes.

1. Make a list of your top 4-5 important things. What’s most important to you? What do you value most? Simplifying starts with these priorities, as you are trying to make room in your life so you have more time for these things.

2. Evaluate your commitments. Look at everything you’ve got going on in your life. Everything, from work to home to civic to kids’ activities to hobbies to side businesses to other projects. Think about which of these really gives you value, which ones you love doing. Which of these are in line with the 4-5 most important things you listed above? Drop those that aren’t in line with those things.

3. Evaluate your time. How do you spend your day? What things do you do, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? Make a list, and evaluate whether they’re in line with your priorities. If not, eliminate the things that aren’t, and focus on what’s important. Redesign your day.

4. Simplify work tasks. Focus on the essential tasks and eliminate the rest.

5. Learn to say no. This is actually one of the key habits for those trying to simplify their lives. If you can’t say no, you will take on too much.

6. Limit your communications. Put a limit on your communications: only do e-mail at certain times of the day, for a certain number of minutes. Limit phone calls to certain times, too. Same with any other communications.

7. Purge your stuff. If you can devote a weekend to purging the stuff you don’t want, it feels seriously terrific. Get boxes and trash bags for the stuff you want to donate or toss.

8. Get rid of the big items. There’s tons of little clutter in our lives, but if you start with the big items, you’ll simplify your life quickly and in a big way.

9. Edit your rooms. One room at a time, go around the room and eliminate the unnecessary. Act as a newspaper editor, trying to leave only the minimum, and deleting everything else.

10. Edit closets and drawers. Once you’ve gone through the main parts of your rooms, tackle the closets and drawers, one drawer or shelf at a time.

11. Simplify your wardrobe.

12. Free up time. Find ways to free up time for the important stuff. That means eliminating the stuff you don’t like, cutting back on time wasters, and making room for what you want to do.

13. Do what you love. Once you’ve freed up some time, be sure to spend that extra time doing things you love. Go back to your list of 4-5 important things. Do those, and nothing else.

14. Spend time with people you love. Again, the list of 4-5 important things probably contains some of the people you love (if not, you may want to re-evaluate). Whether those people are a spouse, a partner, children, parents, other family, best friends, or whoever, find time to do things with them, talk to them, be intimate with them (not necessarily in sexual ways).

15. Spend time alone. Pray.

16. Streamline your life. Many times we live with unplanned, complex systems in our lives because we haven’t given them much thought. Instead, focus on one system at a time (your laundry system, your errands system, your paperwork system, your e-mail system, etc.) and try to make it simplified, efficient and written. Then stick to it.

17. Clear your desk. If you have a cluttered desk, it can be distracting and disorganized and stressful.

18. Learn what “enough” is. Our materialistic society today is about getting more and more, with no end in sight. Sure, you can get the latest gadget, and more clothes and shoes. More stuff. But when will you have enough?

19. Create a simple weekly dinner menu. If figuring out what’s for dinner is a nightly stressor for you or your family, consider creating a weekly menu.

20. Eat healthy. It might not be obvious how eating healthy relates to simplicity, but think about the opposite: if you eat fatty, greasy, salty, sugary, fried foods all the time, you are sure to have higher medical needs over the long term.

21. Exercise.

22. Have a place for everything. Age-old advice, but it’s the best advice on keeping things organized.

23. Simplify your goals. Instead of having half a dozen goals or more, simplify it to one goal. Not only will this make you less stressed, it will make you more successful. You’ll be able to focus on that One Goal, and give it all of your energy. That gives you much better chances for success.

24. Single-task. Multi-tasking is more complicated, more stressful, and generally less productive. Instead, do one task at a time.

25. Learn to do nothing once in a while. Doing nothing can be an art form, and it should be a part of every life. Read the Art of Doing Nothing.

26. Fill your day with simple pleasures. Make a list of your favorite simple pleasures, and sprinkle them throughout your day.

27. Carry less stuff. Are your pockets bulging. Consider carrying only the essentials.

28. Leave space around things in your day. Whether they’re appointments, or things you need to do, don’t stack them back-to-back. Leave a little space between things you need to do, so you will have room for contingencies, and you’ll go through your day much more relaxed.

Always ask: Will this simplify my life? If the answer is no, reconsider.

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(You may e-mail me at [email protected])