Kindness in a time of war

As we watch missiles rain on Baghdad and see and hear a burst of explosions outlined in gold against the dark sky, we feel the excitement of a moviegoer in an IMAX theater. Most of us do not feel the tragedy of war – just yet. What we see is the excitement of battle, like spectators in the coliseum watching gladiators in the arena. What is unfolding before us is a spectacle. A show. Cable networks are pleased at today’s viewership of the TV coverage of Operation Iraqi Freedom. People are entertained. Awed. Engrossed. They are also happy that fuel prices are down by 40 centavos per liter.

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I don’t think there is anything we can do to stop the ongoing war. I think the most we can do is pray that the casualties will be minimal, even if one life lost in war is always one too many.

And death, especially if it befalls someone you love, can never be described as "minimal."

But to prevent future wars we have to start with helping others closer to home. The people who serve us, the people who live in the fringes of our villages, the children who drop out of school because of poverty, the children who go to school under the trees. When you strike out the option of terrorism from every child or teenager’s list of career choices, you are saving many lives.

I met a woman recently who’s been quietly plodding on to make a difference in the lives of the less fortunate. In more ways than one, she’s like a general about to conquer new territory – a better life for those who’ve given up on one.

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Ma. Eugenia "Chiqui" Barretto Server has long lived up to her surname. As a child, she would accompany her mother Nieves Barretto during the latter’s outreach missions – be it in the slums or among the inmates at the city jail. At the Assumption Convent, the nuns instilled in Chiqui the same mission to help the poor.

Chiqui married her high school sweetheart Ernest Fritz Server when she was 18 years old. By the time their four kids went full-time to school, Chiqui plunged into social work with a passion.

With a group of other concerned women, she was able to set up a foundation that upgraded teacher training in many schools. She was also involved in community development work at the Assumption School in San Simon, Pampanga. Later, she helped set up cooperatives that lent seed money to women in depressed areas in Parañaque and Las Piñas.

"I strongly believe it is NGO work that saves this country. I think it was what helped us survive the Marcos years!" says Chiqui.

Because her husband Ernest is supportive of her endeavors ("He makes the money and I spend it!"), Chiqui works virtually full time in helping others.

She makes time for others, even if she has several companies and interests to keep her hands full. Her family is one of the owners of Via Mare and has several real estate projects.

Outside her own home, her focus, however, is on the special role she plays as president of the Zonta Club of Muntinlupa. The club has a Sagip program, which provides sanctuary, medical, legal and counseling aid to Muntinlupa’s abused women and children. The club maintains a building near the New Bilibid Prisons in Muntinlupa to process, house and rehabilitate these women (as many as 40 at a time) and children.

She is also spearheading a waste management program for 80 houses in the posh Ayala Alabang Village in Muntinlupa. Weekly seminars are held for househelp to teach them to segregate waste. Chiqui says these households have reduced their garbage by more than half.

In cooperation with Dove, Chiqui and the Zonta Club of Muntinlupa are spearheading the search nationwide for ordinary women with extraordinary causes. With her Zonta team composed of Carmita Francisco (project director), Mercedes Arroyo, Remy Fournier, Menchu Henson, Kathleen Liechtenstein, she is screening nominees for a grand recognition award.

Chiqui’s eyes glow when she talks of the women who have met the search’s criteria. Dubbed "the Search for Dove Bukod Tanging Filipina 2003," the project will culminate this Saturday, March 29, at the Museum of the Filipino People in Manila.

"One of the nominees is a lavandera who earns only about P5,000 a month. Her husband is jobless and she supports her family. And yet, on weekends, she holds a soup kitchen for children – with her own money – at the squatter community near the PICC. After feeding the kids, she also teaches them. She was nominated by her employer, who finds her extraordinary indeed," narrates Chiqui.

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Leading a group of strong-willed woman achievers is in itself a challenge. Ensuring the club’s projects materialize and make a dent in the lives of their beneficiaries is hard work.

"This is not a social club. We’re here to do a job, giving it as much importance as our careers and business interests," she stresses.

"When you do something to help others, something that gives you back no financial return, it is your soul that reaps all the gains. You see how certain foods make our bodies full. Well, helping others is the food that is truly nakakataba ng puso."

What Chiqui truly finds fulfilling is that in helping others she meets women who have far less than she has in life, but are giving just as much to others.

"This is truly humbling. The generosity of others who have less in life puts us to shame," she smiles.

In this time of war let us pray for peace. But let us also plant the seeds of peace so our children never get to watch another CNN broadcast of major war again, no matter how exciting.

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