Any children’s birthday celebration is never complete without the blowing of candles. When we celebrated the first birthday of our youngest child, we made it clear to the children during the blowing of the candle that we will give the celebrant the chance to blow his birthday candle. When the actual time came, a four-year old child blew the candle. So, we had to do the “blowing ceremony” all over again. We sang the birthday song again and the same boy blew it again despite the reminder. When asked who blew the candle, the boy happily admitted the act.
Either the boy never gets the chance to blow candles during his birthdays or he is showing his competency in being able to blow the candle. While it’s a very simple task for adults, it may not be so for children. It may even be a source of pride for them. I have had various experiences with children in school wanting to show their skills or things they can do or say. Once I was asking a child for the first letter of a certain word when another went ahead and gave the answer. This shows that there’s really an inherent need in people to feel competent and children are no exception.
Understanding children’s behavior this way is very important. Otherwise, adults may end up leaving the child feeling ineffective or incompetent. Just imagine what will happen to the child if he were scolded by the adult for being rude in interrupting or just told to keep quiet. Whereas, if the answer of the child were recognized and praised first and then a proper manner of telling the child to refrain from answering were made, the adult would have boosted the child’s confidence. Remarks such as “Wow, he knows the answer”, “Very good”, “Now, can we listen to what the other boy has to say,” would be a better alternative.
Sometimes children do not want things to be done for them if they can do it themselves. Adults looking after a child must consider allowing the child to do things for himself even if it would take a longer time getting things done. This will give them motivation
The child then ends up not being motivated to do things himself. For instance, if you ask a child his name, age, or other questions and he has a companion who answers for him, the child may end up not being responsive to adults as he may develop a feeling of not being ready to talk with others.
In school, however, teachers may not have the liberty of time for their students as they have to finish teaching so many topics and give out many activity sheets and quizzes not to mention the big number of children under their care. Almost everything is scheduled and the only feedback they can give is whether or not the child made a right or wrong answer. The multiple tasks of the teacher makes one think whether or not some schools encourage self-determination in their students. While some schools may lack the things that directly support self-determination, they can at least try to refrain from actions which curtail self-determination such as surveillance, controlling rewards and threats and deadlines.
Perhaps, the best remedy is to incorporate an emergent curriculum where schedules give more time and flexibility to teachers to respond to problems as they arise although it may not be part of the lesson plan. My son is studying about Roman numerals in Math. Their lesson is only up to XXX (30). Nowhere in his textbook was there a mention on the number 40 but he already wants to know about it. I wonder if his teacher has the time to explain it or should my son wait for one more year when the lesson will be taught, assuming it is part of the next level’s lesson plan?
JONATHAN EMMANUEL S. SISON teaches at Curious Tykes Early Childhood Development Center, Cubao, Quezon City.