Special but not spoiled

Do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4

Family counselor John Rosemond asks, "Is your child special . . . the most exceptional person in the world?" He answers, "Of course – to you!"

Rosemond says that letting your child know he’s special to you is healthy, but no child should grow up thinking he’s more special than others. "That child," he warns, "is likely to think he’s also deserving of special things and special privileges." He’ll easily "justify outbursts of hurtful anger, selfishness, jealousy." How can we counteract this danger?

Christian parents, if they are grounded in the Scriptures, are equipped to get the right balance. First, they can affirm their children without showing favoritism by telling them that they are unique creations of God (PSALM 139:13-16). Second, they can teach their sons and daughters that sin, the great equalizer, is in every individual, and that they too need Christ’s saving grace (ROMANS 3:23).

Parents who impart these perspectives are well on their way to fulfilling the apostle Paul’s instruction for child-rearing: "Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (EPHESIANS 6:4). Children with this upbringing are more likely to grow up feeling special without being spoiled. – Joanie E. Yoder

Speak the truth to these your precious ones,

For guidance tell your daughters and your sons

Of One who loves them even more than you,

And who will be their guide a lifetime through. – Anon.

READ: EPHESIANS 6:1-4

Spoiled children are given what they want; wise parents give them what they need.