Five and a half years ago, I actually thought I was retired.
I had been out of the rat race for several years, I was not tied down to a 9-to-5 job like many friends, I certainly enjoyed holidays and weekends unlike my colleagues in media who were tied to their job, their career or their calling. Then and now, I certainly spent most of my time with my wife Karen and our daughter Hannah.
Then the Lord in his infinite wisdom decided to send me out to the field once again to do the program “Agenda” on cable TV. With the benefit of hindsight, I have learned that God opens doors or thrusts us into things because the work we do will be vital to God’s future plans.
For instance, while I was working with Channel-2/ANC, I was asked to be a news presenter or co-anchor on the late-night news program “Insider.” I immediately said no because it was not one of my strengths and I had a toddler at home whom I wanted to put to bed every night. But much as I tried to refuse, one of our bosses back then, Mr. Freddie Garcia, insisted and even raised the stakes.
It was work. Late night news is not fun, it is tense, takes four hours preparation and things only got worse when our airtime kept getting pushed back because of entertainment-drama programs going overtime. Then came the “local royal wedding coverages” of Philippine celebrities that would mindlessly stretch into the night, until one evening the 9 o’clock news came out at 10, then 10:30, 11:00 until we broke the record as being “the earliest evening news” when we aired at 1:00 a.m.!
Viewership plummeted, ratings went down compared to the popularity of our “royal weddings” pre-programming and I got blamed for it because I was “bungling” my lines. After nine difficult months, I was replaced and two weeks later someone from the show called to tell me that their ratings went even lower after the change. My reply: “I take no comfort in the show’s fall.”
By then, I was only concerned with asking God why he put me in the show in the first place. Either God spoke or it dawned upon me, but it became as clear as day that all the money I made from doing nine months of the newscast actually bankrolled the building of our “farm” in Lipa. That small backyard place is now our “Promised Land” of sorts that’s full of memories.
So once again, I find myself where I left off. After five and a half years, our show “Agenda” has been cancelled. People keep asking if I would transfer to another company, consider going on YouTube or social media. Why not try doing a podcast, etc.? But the one question that surprisingly does not land on the table is: Will you retire? I don’t know if people are simply being polite or is it really human nature that defies the concept of retirement or God’s rest?
It takes focus to think of the idea, write down the concept and concerns and to actually plan towards “retirement.” “God has put eternity in our hearts,” so even if we don’t admit it, “The End” is not compatible with our operating system. The problem with “eternity” is that it creates a lot of false space that we try to fill with wealth, significance, achievement, fun and a ton of other goals that never seem to be enough.
As we try to do more, we become blinded to our aging bodies, illnesses simply turn into new challenges that must be conquered and we overlook that Life itself is a series of “time trials” and time restrictions. One morning, you are either too tired or sick to carry on or society tells you it’s “time to retire.”
Ideally, we should only retire if we have enough cash or savings to land on as we get off the train. It would be great if we could do projects or gigs every now and then just to cover the monthly expenses, and/or if we have the perfect place to retire. Most people will check the box that says, “None of the above.” All of those things are ideals as well as western standards that are generally inapplicable to Third World countries. Even in today’s US and Europe, there are areas where people are so poor, they can’t attain 1, 2 or 3.
Many Filipinos are in a state of imperfect retirement. Some have cash but have poor health so it’s a question of which runs out first, their money or their health? As you progressively age your employability sinks faster than a ship’s anchor and “Home Sweet Home” is where it’s at because that’s as far as they can go.
But in spite of their Imperfect Retirement, the silver lining is anyone who can peacefully accept retirement is already twice blessed. The opposite is to have many more years plodding at jobs and relationships that give you grief and misery. What’s worse, to drop dead before retirement.
I am reminded of someone who bought toys and trinkets every time he traveled or went to the malls. Stuff like carving sets, electronic gadgets, books, pets and all sorts of things he wanted to build, put together or play with. He always looked forward to doing it all when he retired but he never did. He was dead at 58; he was my father, the veteran journalist Louie Beltran.
If God chooses to give me rest from my labors, to spend time with family and friends, to watch many more sunsets and chicken fights, maybe preach the Word every now and then, I’m not only lucky, but I am also Blessed!
May you come to learn what “God’s Rest” really means.
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