“Why me?”
Even for the kindest people, it is never an easy thing to dive in and go all out in helping what society calls “charity cases” or “People In Difficulty”.
In my case I confess that I have never been gentle about helping others. Yes, I ultimately will help people in need, but I have become so jaded and cautious from past experience that helping others has not been easy for me. I will, but I have extreme difficulty being nice about it.
Looking back, I believe that most people, just like you, care about others enough to want to help, but our greatest fear is getting “too involved” or ending up with people who become emotionally or financially dependent on them. Between being taken for a ride versus having a clinging welfare dependent, I’d imagine most people would rather take the one time hit and be done with it.
I recently had a surprise visit from someone in great difficulty and I must confess that all sorts of concern raced through my mind. The weird thing about it all is that we concern ourselves with all the bad “what ifs” but not enough on the “how tough it must be” for the Person In Difficulty.
Once I managed to throw out the cautionary negatives in the situation, I managed to gain a better perspective and appreciation of the mess the Person In Difficulty was. From being concerned about being used, gypped or taken for a ride, I managed to put myself in the dead end situation of my “friend”.
No job, abandoned by “family,” no local history or connection, no money, old, and entirely on his own. Once you get the picture, you realize that finding fault, laying blame or declaring him a “loser” does not help. It is simply a matter of choice: To help someone or be part of the rest of the crowd that gave up on him. I chose to help.
Yes, he would have to pull teeth from a bear and get a few scratches along the way. He will wonder at some point if I was trying to help him or murder him, but ultimately I resolved to help this human being get up on his feet.
In between our sessions, I like many of you, asked the inevitable: “Why me?” What divine purpose was there for God to send this 40-year-old stranger to come knocking at my door? Because I asked the question I got the answer…
He was sent my way because I went through the same thing almost 27 years ago. My Dad Louie Beltran sent me to the US where I was to hook up with “relatives” and see if I could start a new life there.
With $750, a Bible and two bottles of shampoo I boldly flew out to Los Angeles. I stood by the curb at LAX looking for a familiar face, I tried the pay phone and called the number Dad gave me, but all I got was an answering machine. There was no welcome mat for me. No matter how loving and forgiving we become in life, that kind of experience stays with you for life and now, for a reason.
I eventually found a ride courtesy of an elderly Filipina lady I had helped during her illness on the flight. No, I did not bother to look for my relatives, I headed out to San Diego where my dear friends Arlene and Mark Levitt unselfishly took me in like a lost puppy for three months. From there I went on to land a job in Connecticut, legally for an extended period.
Perhaps God sends us the PIDs and charity cases because we have been mentally and emotionally prepared to appreciate and relate, and therefore are able to help them not only materially or financially, but also spiritually.
As I shared several meals with my long lost “friend”, I pieced together the sordid tales of how family and affluence and influence imploded like a nuclear bomb that destroyed every person that was directly in contact. Here before me was a witness to the fact the wealth so many try to acquire so much of for security, can and often ultimately destroy the very family it was meant to provide for.
PIDs and charity cases are not mere burdens sent our way, they are serious reminders to teach us to appreciate what or who we have in our lives and what to avoid in our journey through life. I would like to think that promotion may be on the way, so God is just giving us a real live sample of what we may become if we mess up our priorities.
PIDs and charity cases are actual case studies we should learn from and be challenged by. What would bring greater honor and accomplishment to you: To raise up a corporation or save a ruined life? Concrete monuments and shares of stock will not express gratitude to your children and loved ones. But those you help to walk back to a meaningful life will.
By listening to his stories, my PID reaffirmed an important lesson I have learned through the years. God will not be taken for granted. You cannot ignore God all your life and expect to have a great finish. The influential and affluent father of my PID spent his final years bedridden and practically mute. Even before he was dead, his children were already at each other’s throat over money and power.
I share this story to encourage those of you who may have a PID or a charity case. It could be a test, it could be a message, it could be an opportunity or it may be related to a promotion. It’s not a burden, there is a purpose. Learn what it is.
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E-mail: Utalk2ctalk@gmail.com.