Thanks for the lift, Sir!

Feb. 1 is the birthday of my boss, my benefactor, my friend — Sir Dodong Gullas. Happy birthday, Sir! Thank you for always being there to lift me up when I’m down.

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 A neophyte columnist asked me for some tips. As if I know the tricks. “What to you do when a reader hits you for one reason or another?” he asked. I said I just keep quite. I believe in what George Bernard Shaw said: “Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.”

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 A Manila tv host said some names of business establishments are queer. I agree. There was a time when Jerry and I ate our meals in a cerinderia on V. Gulls St. named Rizal Barber Shop.

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 Experts say that the price of food goes up when the weather is bad. The only food that does not go up in price regardlessof the weather condition is food for thought.

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 A reader called me twice last Friday to ask if there was a typhoon coming. I said, “Call Pagasa.” He said, “Sige, Sir, bi. Palihug call Pagasa.” See? Diddn’t I tell you I’m read by all kinds of creatures?

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 I saw this on a woman’s t-shirt: “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.” Old stuff. Today things have changed. You laugh and the whole world ask: “What’s funny?”

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 Speaking of laughter, of course you’ve heard it said that laughter is the best medicine. But no manufactureer of food supplement has yet thought of producing laughter in capsules.

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 “Birth control should be a continuing issue,” said a birth control advocate on tv. I’m reminded of what Woody Allen, the humorist, said about birth control. He said: “I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said no.”

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 Singapore once stepped up its drive to control population. It was a success. Now it wants to “un-success” its success. Why? According to Singapore media, the Tiger City’s population has gone down so much that if nothing is done about it, the Island City would end up being a country of old people.

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 Now, the Singapore government is encouranging couples to forget about population control. It gives financial support to parents who produce now more than one baby. Reproductive Health is unheared of in the Island City.

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 E-mail from Roden Ople of Mandaue City: “Sir Jabat, there is a law which punished, supposedly, hospitals who continue to require patients to make deposits upon admission. This law no hospital respects. As a journalist you know that. May I know, Sir, if there has been one hospital penalized for not obeying this law?’

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 I am aware of the violation committed regarding deposits, having been hospitalized many times. But I am not aware of a hospital penalized for not obeying this law.

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Email: nitzjab@yahoo.com

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