Everyone is acutely conscious of the disadvantages of growing old.
Especially the realization that you are getting nearer and nearer to the pre-departure area. The fear of that long, lonely journey into the unknown.
But there are great advantages to growing old — far greater than the disadvantages. The first is this: you begin to realize the value of life. Shakespeare has Hamlet saying: “To be or not to be, that is the question.” But the answer is: it is better to be than not to be!
It is better to be born under a bridge, than not to be born at all. It is better to be heart broken, than not to be at all. It is better to be a paraplegic than not to be at all. Every morning, when you wake, you thank God for this new day! You thank Him for each hour, each minute, each moment. Life is a beautiful gift from God.
And then you begin to appreciate things that have been with you through all the long years. I have lived on the shore of the Pasig River since 1960 — 47 years. But only recently have I begun to watch the beautiful sunsets, where the river meets the sea. They are the loveliest sunsets in all the world. And visitors, looking out of my window, say: “What a beautiful river!” And it is true! Of course the poor old Pasig has become a sewer, draining waste from all the esteros running into it, but it is a beautiful, peaceful river.
And the acacia trees! Since I came to the Philippines in 1938 I have seen these trees, but only in the last few years have I begun to marvel at how beautiful they are. They do justice to Joyce Kilmer’s poem:
“I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree!”
But what you begin to appreciate most of all, as you grow older, are people. Friends. The most precious gift that God can give to anyone is a friend. And I have had so many good, kind, faithful friends over the long years!
And I am touched to the soul by the deep, heroic sanctity of people that I meet for the first time, even now. Many young women — intelligent, beautiful, hard-working — who have not entered the convent, and have not married, so that they could take care of their families — their father and mother, sisters and brothers. They do not think of themselves. Only of the needs of the ones they love.
It is not only Filipina women who are generous, selfless, sacrificial . . . . it is Filipino men. The father of a family comes into my office. He is moving heaven and earth to help his son, who has gotten into trouble. Or he is trying to save his daughter, who has become pregnant while still in college. At home, a man like this is often considered a stern disciplinarian, but alone with a priest, where he can really express what he feels, he weeps for them. And there is nothing he will not do for his children.
Even the thought of death loses its terror. Some who are suffering terribly, living in pain, pray that God will take them, soon. But most of the old ones are grateful for the gift of life, and are content to wait until God calls them, in His own good time.
They know that death is not an end. It is a beginning. It is not an exit. It is an entrance. They know that this life is only a testing ground — the introduction to the story, the prelude before the play, the verse before the song, the handle on the knife, the springboard from which we take off into Life.
They know that God chooses the time of our going, with great wisdom, and with great love. There really is a time for being born, a time to grow, a time to laugh, a time to play, a time to learn, a time to fall in love, a time to marry, a time to labor, a time to suffer, and a time for going home to God. And all of these times are beautiful. Death is a gift, as much as life.
The old ones, who have time to meditate, think positively. They talk to God as they would talk to a friend. They know that He is a God of mercy, a God of forgiveness, a God of love.
And they remember how Our Lord himself described the Judgment. “He will say to those on His right: ‘Come ye blessed of my Father, possess the Kingdom prepared for you from the beginning of the world. . . . . Eye hath not seen, nor hath ear heard, nor hath it entered into the mind of man to conceive. The joy that God has prepared for those who love Him.’”
Pious young women sometimes pray to be great saints. But those who are old pray that they will make it to Purgatory. That’s another advantage of growing: you learn to face reality.