The textbook cop

When it rains, it’s wet.

An apple a day makes seven apples a week.

The laughter has not yet gone stale on those lines, circa Erap presidency. I’m not sure if they are "Eraptions" — jokes churned out by Joseph Estrada and his handlers to endear him to the masses. But these jokes became popular among people who were frustrated that an actor perceived to be a hard-drinking, womanizing buffoon with bad English had won the presidency by a landslide (or a landscape).

Ateneo alumnus Erap can speak good English in his unguarded moments (when his masses aren’t looking) so those "Eraptions" were simply a highly effective campaign aid.

But the mangled English that contributed to his image as a man of the masses is no joking matter for many Filipinos. Going by the latest textbook controversy, even people in charge of educating Filipino children are inflicting bad grammar and nonsense on our youth.

And the results are evident — in schools, in our workforce, in TV talk shows, and even, I must admit, in the pages of newspapers including this one.

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These days when someone advises us to "burn the bridge when you get there," or says that someone "wants to have her cake and bake it, too," we are careful not to laugh because the person might not be joking.

There’s nothing funny about government-issued English textbooks teaching that "time has run out of me" and that "the enkantada fell in love to a handsome man who fell in love to a pretty lady."

And it’s not just grammatical errors that we must worry about. These are from other textbooks: A bird with a hard head is a woodpecker. Crickets creak, sheep boo, cows mow. The news we get from radio or TV is called a radio broadcast; if the broadcast is by telephone or telegram, it is called a telecast.

These memorable lines — plus about a thousand other errors — were compiled by Antonio Calipjo Go, academic supervisor of Marian School in Quezon City.

Go was the concerned educator who last year blew the whistle on a history book in Filipino that was riddled with hundreds of factual and grammatical errors. After taking note of Go’s evaluation, a corrected version of the textbook was issued this school year.

Last summer, Go evaluated 24 grade school textbooks and reported finding over a thousand errors. He called the attention of Phoenix Publishing House, Inc., which produced the textbooks, and was disappointed when the company released the books in question anyway without making corrections.

Phoenix, one of the largest suppliers of government textbooks, has reportedly released "correction books" alongside the books in question. If the government had to pay extra for the correction books, that was good business for Phoenix.

The publishing firm tossed the blame for the errors – with good reason – to the National Book Development Board, which gave the 24 books its seal of approval. When Go went public with his latest evaluation, the board attacked his credentials and said the books weren’t as defective as Go depicted in an article titled, "Donkeys in a World of Horses."

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Government evaluators could challenge Go’s beef with statements such as, "Clean your ears with your little finger and soapy water," or the advice to Grade 5 pupils to "have regular checkups for STDs even in the absence of symptoms." Or even, why not, "Shake, wait and play with the maid."

But what about, "Whales and dolphins have short necks"? And what do you make of this: "Feet are too far from your teeth, don’t forget to care for them after you skipped." Or, "Give it until it hurts no more."

Go has a point. Embarrassing as it may seem, the National Book Development Board should admit that someone has been sleeping on the job, study Go’s evaluation and make the necessary textbook revisions, or at least alert teachers particularly in public schools about the errors.

In fact if Education Secretary Butch Abad is serious in his avowed efforts to improve the quality of Philippine education, he should commend Go for his work, which is done for free, and hope there are more civic-spirited educators out there who can help the government.

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With the school year just starting, the nation should be preoccupied with ways of stopping the rapid deterioration of the quality of Philippine education, particularly in public schools.

Instead we are completely preoccupied with jueteng, tapes of dubious origin and politics as usual. Sure, corruption and poll cheating are also important concerns, but education should not be relegated to the sidelines of national life. With a better-educated citizenry, we wouldn’t be in the mess that we now find ourselves in, and we wouldn’t keep electing clowns to Congress.

There has never been enough money for public education. That constitutional provision requiring the bulk of the annual budget to be allocated to education is a joke; the biggest chunk goes to debt servicing.

Some kind-hearted business groups and other private individuals have pitched in to build more classrooms and school buildings, but the donations are not enough.

Our public schools lack everything from desks to qualified teachers. The shortages are so acute that many public schools have to hold classes in three shifts daily just to accommodate students. This means shorter class hours for everyone, when what our students need are not just longer hours of schooling but also additional years in primary and secondary education.

If we can’t build more classrooms and school buildings or issue more textbooks to public schools, we should at least make an effort to impart correct lessons to students. This is why we can’t afford to keep producing error-filled textbooks.

Call Antonio Calipjo Go obsessive. Call him a nitpicker. But millions of students will benefit from his enthusiasm for his self-appointed task and his caring for the proper education of the Filipino.

He is, as we like to say, "a blessing in the sky."

Millions of Filipinos don’t know that’s supposed to be a joke.