‘Deadnapped for Ransom (D-F-R)’

Dear Nanay,

I am an incoming fourth-year student taking up management. I have this great desire to earn the degree I have long worked for, but our family is currently experiencing a financial crisis. I thought of working part-time but the income will not be enough to cover all my expenses in school. My mother has already told me of the possibility of not being able to continue with school. Should I still pursue going to college or just accept whatever is destined for me?

Ria

Dear Ria,

Without a doubt you should still pursue your college degree.

I have said many times before that I was not fortunate enough to have been able to get my college degree. But you have the opportunity to finish your studies, so you should do everything in your power to achieve that goal. This is especially true with you because you are already an incoming fourth-year student. Isang taon na lang. Sayang naman kung hindi mo pa tatapusin. (You just have one more year. It would be a shame if you don’t finish.)

Instead of getting a part-time job, why don’t you get a full-time job? Then you can attend school on a part-time basis in the evenings. You will have more money from your work and your school expenses will be a little less because you will probably take fewer units. It may take longer for you to finish your schooling, but in another year and a half to two years, you can probably earn enough credits to graduate.

Don’t give up. Even if you can only take a few units at a time, keep working at it. Magugulat ka kasi hindi mo napapansin, bigla na lang nakatapos ka na pala. (You’ll be surprised because you’ll be done before you know it.)

Sincerely,

Nanay

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A Teen’s Right To Privacy

Dear Nanay,

I have a teenage daughter who, like most teenagers, does not tell me anything about her private life. Like any concerned parent, I want to make sure that she is okay and not doing anything she is not supposed to. She receives many letters and postcards from friends and I have been reading the postcards because I feel like they are open, anyway. But if it is a letter, I don’t open the envelope. Is what I am doing proper? Should I go on reading her postcards?

Carmen

Dear Carmen,

If you ask me, I think what you are doing is acceptable.

The postcard is an “open” letter. So I do not think that the sender will write anything very private there. But because there will not be any “secrets” on the postcard, I doubt very much if you will learn anything new that you didn’t already know about your daughter. In that sense, it might not be worth the resentment your daughter will certainly feel if she finds out you are reading her mail, even if it is an “open” postcard.

What I think is more important is for you to observe your daughter’s behavior. I am sure you can tell if there is something wrong or if she is always getting into bad situations. Nagbago ba ang ugali niya? Ang mga barkada niya? (Has her personality changed? Her group of friends?) It is natural for teenagers to want some privacy but you have to balance this with your responsibility as a parent. And the more you know, the better equipped you will be to help or counsel your daughter.

Weigh the pros and cons of what you are doing and then decide if the potential benefits are worth the potential risks.

Sincerely,

Nanay

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