MANILA, Philippines - Every girl understands the pressure of wanting to be a beach babe, just as most of us understand that Jessica Alba’s body is indeed, a wonderland — but also a genetic anomaly.
We’ve all been there. It’s the last couple of weeks before summer officially starts, and the auto-mind set switch begins — less about boring classes, more about boarding passes. And especially for the ladies, all roads lead to one particular destination: that ever-elusive beach body. Sure, we said that back in 2009. 2010 and 2011, too. But if this year is when it all supposedly ends, then there’s no better time to carpe diem. As in: seize the unwanted weight away.
Every girl understands the pressure of wanting to be a beach babe, just as most of us understand that Jessica Alba’s body is, indeed, a wonderland — but it’s also a genetic anomaly. For the rest of us mortals, getting to that fine form is taxing and sometimes even costly, but we give it a shot anyway. We go to yoga, circuit training, boxing or Plana Forma. We succumb to putting down that red velvet cupcake (depressing as that is). Because who wants to be the foil in barkada pictures? You know, the one that makes everyone look x times sexier than they actually are? No one.
Weight loss is a fickle and vicious cycle, so if you must diet — do it the proper way, and only if you’re willing to shell out the extra cash. Whether you’re a week, two, three or four away from getting your Bora-cray on, here are some diet plans that can help you get on the path to a rocking, Facebook-proof bod.
Four weeks: Cohen diet
The Cohen diet claims that you don’t have to starve yourself during the program, and you may also eat all types of food, because it’s all about blood chemistry. One can lose as much as 15 pounds in a month through this tailor-made and balanced eating plan — though you’ll have to prepare your own food.
Three weeks: The Sexy Chef
Serving up dishes from salads to cheesecakes, The Sexy Chef’s personalized plans aren’t about skimping out on good food. Choose among their selection of diet plans from Pounds Away to Body after Baby, and have it delivered straight to your house. With healthy recipes prepared by Sexy Chef Barni Alejandro, lose 8-14 pounds with the Pounds Away plan, and 8-12 pounds with the Get Sexy plan within two weeks, then shed more weight off a week after that. Now that’s really catering to you.
Two weeks: NUIU Life Cuisine
All NUIU meals are delivered fresh daily, and for as long as it adds up to 1,200, 1,400, 1,600 or 1,800 calories a day you can have your fill of beef kebabs with brown rice or pasta à la Madrelina for dinner. The South Beach diet-inspired NUIU takes care of all your five meals during the day, and you’re free to order as little as a five-day plan or as much as a month’s long plan at one time.
One week: Master Cleanse, Juju Cleanse, General Motors diet
If you want to lose weight within a week, know that it’s going to hurt. A lot. For both Master and Juju Cleanses, you’ll only be able to drink cayenne-peppered lemonade or fruit or vegetable juices for seven days. Though you’ll be able to eat actual food with the General Motors diet plan, you’ll only go so far as baked potatoes and bananas. The stakes are high and the hunger pangs will be cruel—but your weight loss is also your gain.