I know, I know – that’s the sap in me talking, but people may truly be amazed by certain books dubbed "self-help" books. Even though you don’t necessarily have to "learn" something from each and every novel you pick up you can choose and select tidbits of information that can help shape and mold you as you make your way through life. After all, defining oneself isn’t something that can be done overnight. It’s a lifelong process that requires re-working and re-definition every now and then.
In either case, I have read three self-help books in my life that have taught me something. One was given as a gift from my friend Eleanor, In the Meanwhile by Iyanla Vanzant; the second was Awareness by Anthony de Mello, a gift from my friend Tria; and the third I came across in a tiny Alaskan bookshop at the Alaskan Airport called Girlosophy by Anthea Paul.
It was almost like providence that led me to this amazing little book. I was simply browsing while waiting for my flight to Seattle when I couldn’t help but overhear the two young salesladies speaking to each other in an all too familiar language. Yup, in the middle of cold, untouched Alaska two young half-Filipinas were talking about the last time they were in Manila (let’s put it this way – Quad was still the mall of choice!) and I couldn’t help but interject, "Wow, you’re both Filipino too?" To make a long story short, we ended up talking for a bit and they suggested some good airport reading to me, one of which was Girlosophy: A Soul Survival Kit.
As I flipped through the pages of the book while waiting to board the plane and during the two-hour flight to Seattle I couldn’t help but smile and feel good about being a girl. It’s one of the books that inspire confidence and love of being a female. In the tradition of the poem "Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelu, Girlosophy talks to women about being proud of who and what they are regardless of race, creed, size, looks, hair color, and everything else that won’t even last the test of time. Anthea Paul challenges women to better the one thing that will last forever – their soul.
The book touches on the things that matter most to women – life, purpose, love, beauty, healing, growth, spirit, hope, and is full of photographs that inspire and move the soul. All the women featured in Girlosophy are photographs of real girls – not professional models – aged between 13 and 32 from all over the world. They were chosen for their unbelievable soul and energy and not based on the criteria for mainstream beauty as defined by modeling. Girlosophy girls are each uniquely beautiful and more than that they are beautiful in spirit and have molded their being carefully throughout their lifespan be it 13 years or 30. As Girlosopher Simone de Beauvoir once said, "One is not born a woman, one becomes one."
So in essence, what is Girlosophy? It is a collection of thoughts and feelings that every girl and woman experiences in her lifetime. The fear of failure, the loss of love, shattered dreams, and most importantly, finding the true friends and lessons that will sustain us throughout our lifetime. After all, more important than maintaining a size 24 figure or having the perfect clothes and accessories is maintaining a beautiful soul and a perfect spirit. Because in the end, more than having the greatest clothes and the perfect makeup the things that are going to matter more are how we treated our family and friends, how we protected the environment, and how much we loved. The Buddhists definitely are on the right track in the mind frame that embraces the Golden Rule – treat others as you would want to be treated, relax, live, love, and always take time to meditate.
To quote from Girlosophy – the "Art of Living" is a precarious thing and something that we should always be aware of as we strive to fulfill our destiny. Even the smallest things we see along the way can help shape us into the women we’re supposed to be. We should learn to appreciate the smallest things whether they be a flower, a card, a smile, or a hug. We should take care doing the rituals of our life – brushing our teeth, making the beds, bathing, or dressing. We should always consider the effects of our actions of others. Everything we do comes back multiplied so it’s better to get multiple happiness in the long run by spreading happiness in the present. We should cultivate an understanding of other cultures and viewpoints when – especially when – it’s difficult to put yourself in their place. We should be gracious in both victory and defeat and be courteous and gentle in our habits. We should love and cherish our friends and family, and lastly we should respect our planet and respect ourselves.
Being a Phenomenal Woman is easier than we may think, we just have to believe in ourselves and believe in others. When we realize our true potential inside we inadvertently help others realize the potential inside them. Sometimes all a person needs to grow is another person believing in them. I’d like to end with a spiel from Marianne Willamson’s A Return to Love:
"… our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."