If he had been around at the start of the 20th century or anytime before that, I’m almost certain that my no-frills, no-fuss man would have likely chosen to live the life of a hermit. Up to the 1950s, your proper attire (and you had better make sure it was just that) was your passport to the workplace, to church, to social gatherings and even your mode of transport. It was de rigueur to be dressed appropriately – and specifically – for the occasion, and according to your status or profession. Otherwise, you would be refused entry or be permitted in at the risk of being scowled at and written off the "it" list. Society can be vicious. You’ve seen those Merchant-Ivory flicks.
My husband’s behavior is not unusual. He’s just your typical Gen-X dude who couldn’t bother with conventions in manners of dress. His rebellious attitude towards dress codes seems more like the rule than the exception these days. Since the breakthrough 1960s, dress codes have been broken down, hashed out, Casual Friday-ed and, sometimes, completely eliminated to adapt to our changing lifestyles. As a result, there has been a marked loss of interest in being "appropriately dressed." Our wardrobe is now transposable. We can wear almost anything to any venue or occasion. The popularity of day-to-evening dressing is testament to this. We’ve become brats – choosing what to wear wherever we choose and whenever we please. But how does this general attitude affect the fashion landscape? Former Bazaar writer, Woody Hoschwender, boldly declares that "When there are no socially accepted standards of dress, the result is confusion – and laziness. Fashion requires a certain discipline and rigor." It may shock some of you, and I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of agree with this statement, to a certain extent.
Of course, being in the fashion industry, I live and crave for the freedom to express myself and explore different ideas. I’m very intrigued by innovative, multi-functional and versatile product designs. And I am incredibly inspired by the more daring individuals who make a real effort to challenge fashion norms. But as I’ve grown up and subsequently shed my juvenile delinquencies, I’ve come to realize the value of the dress code in our society. Something that is meant to control actually promotes creativity because it forces you to "think" about fashion, to be aware of it, and to make an effort to get dressed up in your snazziest gear.
There is value in people coming together abiding by some rule of attire and decorum. Dressing appropriately and similarly symbolize a kind of unity. Just as soldiers’ uniforms represent their camaraderie, we too can feel that we are in this together, we’re all on the same page, celebrating a special moment or occasion.
That is why, even in the absence of traditional dress codes, I find myself delighted when some of my friends assign a theme or attire to an upcoming party. When I was in high school, my girls and I would plan our outfits for a special night out or co-ed party. Much to the dismay of our parents, we’d choose a look that spelled s-e-x-y. Of course! We knew our priorities. Some nights would rain minis, others would be low-backs or fronts, but we’d always choose a special color or style. It made for some really hilarious pictures that I’m sure would be fun for you to see, but I still wanna live my life with some semblance of dignity, maybe when I’m 80.
Nowadays, my friends opt for more specific and clever themes. Some of the recent ones are "Looks from1987," "Bollywood," "Gold!," "Anything Madonna" and "Retro Hawaiian." I find it easier to get dolled up for these parties because I’m focused on just one theme.
Plus it’s so much fun to see the different interpretations of the dress code. Even my normally resistant husband is game. Of course, there are some themes that just test his patience, like the Gold one just recently. But he thought and he thought and finally decided he’d go for a golden yellow knit top and khaki pants – all on his own! See, he got to exercise his fashion muscles while still sticking to his signature casual style.
It’s just a matter of finding the perfect balance. Without chastising those who don’t follow and complimenting those who do – we can still experience the benefits of having certain dress codes in our lives. It doesn’t mean you’re less of an individual or a notch below cool. It just means you’re willing to make pakisama and that’s not such a bad thing, really.