My husband and I recently celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. We had no grand plans -- we rarely do when it's our anniversary -- and had just agreed to go to Mass together with our three children, as an act of gratitude for God's blessings all throughout our marriage.
The past eight years have been blessed indeed, but they were not without burdens and breakdowns. Trials and tests accompanied our triumphs as a couple, and we have God and our support systems to thank for us helping us stay together this long. I also believe that because we chose love early in our marriage, we have been able to come to where we are now.
And what does it mean to choose love?
For you reading this, it could mean many different things.
For me right now, in this season of my life when I am a fulltime, work-at-home, homeschooling mom of three and wife of one (but of course!), it means any one of (but not limited to) the following scenarios:
When my husband comes home from work, and I am tempted to "pass on" everything household-related to him (like washing the dishes and making sure the kids are fed and bathed before bedtime), I choose love and give him time to relax. I ask him about his day and I let him be. (Thankfully, he also chooses love and does the household-related things on his own volition, usually without any hints or prompts from me. Yes, I'm blessed!)
I choose love.
When my son wants me to accompany him downstairs to go to the bathroom at three o'clock in the morning and I am tempted to tell him, "You can go by yourself; you're a brave boy you know," I choose love and respect his feelings and go with him. Admittedly, I don't always make choices like this but I am trying my darndest to be consistent.
I choose love.
When my daughter asks if we can "put on a puppet show" together and I start thinking of the gazillion things on my never-ending to-do list, I choose love and say, "OK, I'll be the ladybug!" Then I see her eyes light up and I thank God that I made the right choice, because on many, many, many other occasions, I don't. And I regret it all the time. So I choose love when I can and when I remember to.
I choose love.
When our baby cries and wants to be carried all the time and I am tempted to leave her in her playpen to "cry it out" so I can finish washing the dishes or doing the laundry, I choose love and hold her close and thank God for baby-wearing and do what I can and leave what I can't. Because chores can wait but baby months fly by oh so quickly. And I don't want to be left behind.
So today and every day, when I am tempted (oh so tempted!) to rush or snap or yell or nag or disregard the feelings of those I hold dearest to me, I pray, "Lord, help me to choose love."
Because it is when I choose love that I can truly say that I live and am alive.
"Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection." - Colossians 3:12-14
Now it's your turn. What do you choose?