You are what you write. As a columnist, my writing gets sloppy as it reflects my “moody moods.” Adjectives and nouns become redundant and the editorial crumbles beneath mundane ideas. The opposite is different. Words become infectious to readers when the writer is in the right temper to share his thoughts with the world. So, when I go into those deep moody moods, I refrain from writing because it shows up like a loose thread hanging from one’s sleeve.
What affects my moods? It is what you take inside from the outside. This includes reading. It is because you are also what you read. So, as I was about to pick up a book titled Hell about a news anchor sent to the devil’s paradise, I instinctively dropped it on the counter and replaced it with another book with an illuminating title — The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, a former law clerk turned writer. With the subtitle Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, it was a signal that book wasn’t going to be too sappy nor preachy. And my hunch was fortunately proven right. Gretchin Rubin’s one-year project about finding happiness within her kitchen sink had the right amount of wit and wisdom to make it palatable rather than emotionally overbearing. At best, it sets happiness as a practical and attainable mission rather than a touchy-feely subject. Thus, it is easy to agree with her discoveries that I would like to share today.
Act Happy To Be Happy
The author starts her project with a lot of critics arguing that she isn’t depressed and as a consequence doesn’t need a quest to be happier because she is already content with her life. Yet, this further pushes Rubin to start her mission. She begins in January with the goal to boost her energy first by getting enough sleep and getting some exercise so that she can manage her other future goals. As one who is on a similar path, I agree that running will do you good as this effort to write a column this week was the outcome of 15-minute runs and some swimming during Holy Week. Other than the happy endorphins released, I theorize that running works to fool your body into thinking that you are happy because your body feels that it is pumping blood as rapidly as Romeo’s in love. The result is that your mind becomes sharper and I dare say more creative like a young lover.
This advice leads to a more direct approach — to smile more and laugh out loud. As silly as it sounds, I haven’t tried it myself but there are laughter yoga classes cropping up in Manila to prove that this advice may be sound. So, it may be good to laugh in the middle of Greenbelt by yourself as long as the guards don’t escort you out.
Rubin’s other notable nuggets of wisdom include “fighting right” and finishing your work. Fighting right refers to arguing without hurtfully snapping back at your loved ones. It is because it is a tougher task to make amends since people remember grievances more than gifts. Also, as much as Facebook may up your social happiness, accomplishing work makes one happy, too. It always a better feeling to complete the day fulfilled in the right way rather than with idle chitchat or too much crops planted on the Farmville patch of land.
The Arrival Fallacy
The author only falters in her Happiness project because of her obsessive-compulsive overachiever-ness that can make following her steps quite daunting. Rubin is well read and sprinkles quotes from religious leaders and positive psychologists, to economists on the art of being happy. She also has the habit of religiously ticking her detailed resolution chart, which she claims, comes from being a driven overachiever.
Yet, despite these traits of nerdiness that can be off-putting, reading the journey of a person genuinely out to be happy (rather than only to be noticed as a drag queen tossed up in the air, or a kid singing his lungs out on Showtime) is what is uniquely uplifting about her project.
As I would like to share insights from Rubin, happiness doesn’t come from necessarily arriving at the end. We are most of the time under-whelmed when we achieve what we want. Yet, what matters is the journey, specifically what keeps us going is the feeling of growth over stagnation. For this thought alone, The Happiness Project’s journey is a worthy read. It will keep you elated as you cheer for the author to accomplish her goal in a very realistic way. It is not difficult to be on her side. We would always like to believe that as happy as we are now, something about tomorrow (within us or outside) can surprise us by making us even happier.
* * *
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin is available at National Book Store. For information, visit the author’s website at http://www.happiness-project.com. Start your own Happiness Project at http://happinessprojecttoolbox.com/
* * *
Make me happier at readnow@supreme.ph