I have been going through something — and I feel it can help others. It is not intellectual. It is energetic. But if you understand it conceptually, it can help you. So here goes.
“Pain is meant to be felt” is one of the key lines in the movie The Fault in Our Stars.
My experience this past month affirms this.
For two weeks running — during two events — I experienced pain. And I thought it was unfair. I meet with someone once or twice a week to look at my life flow to make sure I am going in the right direction. I also look at opportunities wherein my life could flow better. It is not intellectual. It is all based on feel — an intuitive mapping of what is going on in my consciousness.
In a session just after one of the “events,” my connector led me to the pain — beyond the story, beyond the reaction, just to the feeling of pain. There was a sense of “oldness” about it. It wasn’t a fresh thing. It was familiar. There was something in my space that was unbearable. I kept on going in until I reached what felt to me like an abyss. Total blackness. But no more pain. Just a feeling of the Divine.
I’ve been having a series of sessions on this “pain.” The effect: there is now a stillness in my daily meditation. Almost like the courage to go through the pain was cleansing. I feel a bigness in me that I hadn’t felt before. I feel the courage to go through the pain revealed a part of me that is “bigger,” wiser, and oh-so-much stiller.
My reflection: situations in life are designed to take us deeper. If we “hack” it in the right way — it can actually make us better people. Bring us to “deeper” places. Reveal to us a part of ourselves that can actually be quite sublime, quite wise.
The challenge is not to get stuck in the “reaction” to the pain. From my observation and experience this can be multifold: the usual reaction is one of anger directed at the party that is responsible for the pain. One can get stuck in “the story.” This is very, very tiring.
The mind just goes on and on — remembering things, thinking things, suspecting things. It’s an endless cycle of chaos and hurt, which just serves to make one tired. I don’t recommend this at all. You have to be careful because, especially if the situation is seemingly unfair, this is what usually happens.
I also don’t recommend “turning the other cheek.” Situations in life give you the opportunity to grow — sometimes in wisdom, but also in the strength and guts to address the situation. But not from a space of negativity or anger, because that is just going to be counterproductive.
The direction to go “beyond the story” is a good way to go — into just feeling your hurt — and if you can understand why you are so hurt it will be good. It will lead to a deeper understanding of yourself which is always good. Going beyond the story will give you a different take on the story. Understand it deeper. From this deeper understanding, you can now act — if it is necessary. You can communicate if it will help. The most important thing is not to get stuck in the reaction because, more often than not, it is negative.
Sometimes the reaction is to fall into a “victim” mode, where one pities oneself — and just wallows deeper and deeper in despair. Do not let this happen. Sometimes it helps to be active. Go running, take in nature, swim in the sea. Be physically active while taking the mind out of the reaction. I don’t suggest comfort eating. You will gain weight and the pain just comes back. I also don’t recommend getting lost in the net — YouTube, etc. It is a diversionary tactic of the lower self. It’s best is to stare the issue right in the eye. For this you may need help.
A third effect might be one of numbing. It is so painful so one just sets it aside and gets on with life. There is the direction of trying to “forget” the pain. After the anger, and the victimhood — this is the most common mode. To forget. To set aside. To get on with life.
The only problem here is that in the “numbing” one loses the gift the pain can give. Yes, one can live life, in joy even, but that pain is still there. Somewhere in the subconscious — nestled there — influencing the way we live our lives, the relationships we have, and yes, even the way we look at life, at situations, at people. This is quite common. What will happen is a situation will come up in life that reminds you of the previous trauma. Your buttons are touched and more often than not your reaction to the current situation far exceeds what is called for. Then life can get really messy.
What I have found is that if one has the courage to go through the pain — really feel it — and then let the Divine hold it, that is when the healing happens. There is no crust of negativity or hurt — no scab imbedded in the deep subconscious that happens. One has healed, and has moved on to letting life flow but without any baggage. One has forgiven to the point of even loving. This is a good and advisable way to go.
If you want assistance in this regard, I can help. This is what ISIS is all about: Inner Space Interactive Sourcing — clearing the subconscious of baggage. You can receive it. You can also learn to give it. It is great for relationships.
We just had an ISIS intensive on May. I let Kulas, my gardener, and Rose, my laundry woman who also attends to my room, attend. I had previously taught them meditation and they loved it so I decided to let them attend the ISIS intensive. The effect has been marked. Rose is so much more efficient now when she does her work. Both are so much happier. She came back from the ISIS intensive and said,
“Ma’am, nakita ko ang takot ko. Pumunta ako sa malalim na lugar...” She is just so much happier and — interestingly — much more organized. Pretty amazing. The subconscious affects in more ways than we can imagine.
I even think that as we learn life’s lessons, as we allow ourselves to be brought to deeper, more profound places in our consciousness, as we realize a wiser and bigger part of ourselves, life will deal with us in a different way. We only see a minute fraction of our life. Remember always that our goal can never, ever be material. Yes, we need material things in life, but it’s who we can learn to be that makes life worth living.
Life goes on.
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I can be reached at regina_lopez@abs-cbn.com.