DEAR NANAY,
Happy New Year, Nanay. I am one of the regular followers of your column in the Philippine STAR and have been wanting to ask for your advice for a long time but only summoned the courage to do so now.
I am probably just another one of your readers who are having marital problems and I am sure you get this question often. My husband is having an affair. I have confronted him about it, and he is not admitting it, but he is not denying it either. He says he will change and promises that this 2011 is the start of a new year and the start of his new life. Should I even bother to believe in him? I think I should just tell him to leave. Do you agree with me, Nanay? — INA
Dear Ina,
When you married your husband, you made a promise to stay together no matter what. I will be the first one to agree that there are times when you really must move on. Ang lahat ng sakripisyo may hangganan rin (All sacrifices have an end). But until that day comes, when you really cannot bear it anymore, you really should do everything you can to save your marriage.
Maybe some people will never change. But as you said, it is a new year, it is time for new beginnings. If he is sincere in starting a new life, I think you should give him every opportunity to do so. Let him earn your trust back. Give him the chance to show that he can be a new person. After all, don’t you think that everyone who makes a mistake deserves a second chance?
Sincerely,
NANAY
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Be the bigger person
DEAR NANAY,
I just want to comment on the letter sent by Amber (Jan. 2). I cannot really understand why she is being blamed for losing the baby. She should be comforted instead of blamed. I cannot understand the attitude of her in-laws. So why does Amber have to be the one to reach out? It should be the in-laws to reach out.
When my wife lost our baby, everyone rushed to her side and did everything they could to support her and me. And it was the lowest point in our lives so we really felt and needed the love and support that all our friends and family gave us. I think I can safely say that without everyone’s support we would not have been able to make it through that difficulty.
However, I also understand that maybe sometimes it does take someone else to make the sacrifice so that all will be better. So, Amber, summon the courage and go and try to make peace. Be the bigger person because sometimes it takes the bigger person to humble themselves so that there would be peace. — Michael