Mothers

Dear Mom,

"There’s no special occasion for this. I just want you to know you’re special. For the times that we didn’t get along or times we didn’t spend together… I’m sorry. I would never ask or wish for another mother." (I hope not!)

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I received this note from my daughter China. Was it because I reprimanded her for coming home late, and nagged her with a barrage of whys and whats? Later, I prayed. Mothers never stop worrying about their children even when they both have gray hair. For mothers, children are babies forever. Here’s China’s message that went with her note.

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" Because I’m a woman she told him. "I don’t understand," he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later, the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" All women cry for no reason, was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up to be a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally, he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked. "God, why do women cry so easily?’

God said: "When I made the woman, she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from her children.

"I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

"I gave her the sensitivity for her children under any and all circumstances.

"I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

"I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strength and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

"And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see son," said God, "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair."

"The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides."

I love you!

China

* * *

That poem is an excellent greeting for all mothers such as Cory Aquino, Tina M. Ocampo and Chingbee Kalaw. And for other mommies, three of them my children – Liaa, Pin and Mikee – and their mothers-in-law, Menchu, Evelyn and Marilou. My mother Lita, the moms who work at the Philippine Public Safety College, who never count the hours of work they have to do, like Rosemarie Alejar and Edna Bayron, and Mommy Jean Gil, my internal audit angel, who says, "Life is a gift given in trust like a child." Tarlac’s Liberty David and Teresita Concio, Surigao’s Adelia Iriberi, Ofelia Siao in Cotabato, Roy’s mom tita Joven Evalle of Batangas.

* * *

If you notice, mothers’ reactions to anything and everything vary, but in the end it’s forgiveness that wins. An incident between Tina Maristela-Ocampo and her children pointed out Tina’s extreme patience, which caught my attention. It begun with "Sorry’s."

On little Juliana’s second attempt to try on her mom’s silk damask gown, she had forgotten she stained it with ice cream. A cockroach chewed up the ice cream and a puncture had appeared.

"Mama, a hole," the frightened Juliana cried out. "Will you still love me, mama, if I tell you the truth?"

"Yes, as long as you don’t lie," Tina answered. "A dress is only a piece of fabric, and Juliana you can’t measure my love for you terms of a dress."

Then Bettina came along. "Mama, I snapped your pearl necklace. The pearls are rolling on the floor."

"Just run after them with Celina and don’t let Emilio eat them," replied Tina.

"Mama, are you angry?" asked Bettina.

"They’re precious pearls but I know it was an accident. As long as you’re sorry I understand."

That’s Tina, the mother with self control.

* * *

From Kay Prieto-Yulo, who said to her Nannie Peachie: "I broke your high-heel shoes, Nannie," granddaughter Kaykay confessed.

"Ay, wow Kay," Peachie said. "You have to respect what isn’t yours. If you hold what’s not yours, treat it gently and protect it."

That’s Peachie. Happy Nannie’s day!

* * *

I know that my children’s roles as mothers were made easier because they picked great husbands. I must mention this because I don’t intend to do this for them on Father’s Day.

Noel complements Liaa. Both are young professionals, one a financial analyst and the other a pediatrician. Seeing them grow into their careers is a great comfort.

Pin’s husband Jojo has been her rock. When she was sick, he selflessly put his life on hold. And Pin’s been the chief homemaker in her house and even mine!

Dodot is a disciplined workhorse, like his wife. At night for relaxation, both discuss national issues and their dream solutions with a laptop to document their thoughts.

* * *

Mothers are survivors, like Lulu Tanalgo, ever believing that children are the greatest comfort for all ages. But they make us get there sooner, too.

The policemen who train in school have wives who don’t have a choice but to pack their husband’s bags for every new assignment. They’re the ones left behind who watch and sustain their family as single mothers. Come to think of it, every government personnel assigned anywhere goes through marriage and singleness, man or woman, and are left rearing the children on their own.

Wait, that reminds me of my secretary Wilma Agawin who lights a candle every day when her husband, a policeman, leaves home for operations. They have a code. He texts her every hour to let her know he’s OK. If he doesn’t, she does. A simple text "OK" and she’s fine for the next hour.

* * *

All mommies impose duties on themselves, but never any restrictions on family obligations. Just like Baby Doria at Makro, shopping for the cadets of Philippine National Police Academy. Even for Chingbee Kalaw, who’s like a butterfly flying here and there to discover the world, it’s her children she checks on from Paris to America. What if I were free spirited like Peachie, all because Bianca is in Scotland? Would I pack my bags and relocate my whole household to Paris and learn French on the spot? Peachie did. All my friends have strong characters and are characters. In fact, many of their birthdays are on April!