‘Metrosexual’ and other language irritants

Every year, a committee at the Lake Superior State University in Sault Ste. Marie, Missouri, releases a list of English words and phrases they deem should be retired from usage. Called "The Annual List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness,"it is a compilation of language irritants that are overused, trite, insincere, redundant or just plain inaccurate.

The first "banished words list" was released in 1976 by Lake Superior State University PR director W.T. "Bill" Rabe and international reaction from news media and the public has kept it going strong, gaining enthusiastic following through the years. People from around the world have nominated thousands of words and phrases such as "you know," "paradigm," "baby boomers," "user friendly," "at this point in time," and "have a nice day," to be purged from the language.

"Metrosexual" Tops 2004 List

For the year 2004, the university committee chose 17 losers from 5,000 nominations sent from around the world. Topping the list is the word "metrosexual." Coined in 1994 by British journalist Mark Simpson, the term refers to urban, usually heterosexual men with a keen interest in fashion, shopping and elaborate, almost feminine grooming.

For those who don’t know, the word "Metro" refers to the railway transportation system in the great cities of the world – New York, LA, Paris, Rome, Madrid, and cities all over Europe including Moscow. Therefore the juxtaposition of the root words "metro" and "sexual" creates intense bewilderment. The word "metrosexual" sounds like a pervert who gets his sexual kicks on the metro-rail or subway!

Other words banished this year include "bling-bling," a term for flashy jewelry, which made its way into common usage through rap music. Also out are words with X: as in X-Files, Xtreme, Windows XP and X-Box (they are far too many, they’ve become irritating!). Terms used during the war in Iraq also produced a few entries on the list – embedded journalist, shock and awe, and captured alive (can you really be captured dead?).

"LOL": e-mail speak for "laugh out loud," "companion animals" (pets), "sweat like a pig" (pigs don’t sweat!), "sanitary landfill" (dump) were all declared trite.

Hooray For LSSU!

Yes, thank goodness there are small academic outposts like Lake Superior State University that take language seriously. Although the annual banishment of trite, useless words may have started as a joke, the pronouncement has become a much-awaited event every New Year’s Day. Language (being the living, evolving thing that it is) has to be controlled, edited or guided, or else we will end up with another confusing Tower of Babel.

Through its colorful 28 years, the "banished words list" has included terms like the following and the reasons why they should be banned as sent in by nominators. The rationales are serious but very entertaining as well!

1990

All except – "Entirety can’t have a minus."

Climb down – "Climb is up. Down is descend." Ben Szczesny, Michigan.

Filmed before a live studio audience – "The alternative is a bit grisly." Ruth A. Hood, Michigan.

Liposuction – "Ugly, ugly word; often mispronounced – visions of four lips stuck together, or an infected lip being treated, or having verbal influence, pull in high places." Nadine Clark, Michigan.

The more you buy, the more you save –"Well, honey, how much should I buy?" "Gee, I don‚t know sugarplum. Just keep buying until you think you have saved enough." Rick Duerson, Michigan.

Vis-a-vis – "Used inappropri-ately by those who don‚t use English properly, let alone French." Larry McConnell, Michigan

Yo – "As in: Yo, dude‚" (Remains correct when repeated, yo-yo.)

1991

If you will – "A most painful, ear-splitting speech affectation. A day does not pass without hearing it at least a dozen times from every politician, government official, talk show host, newscaster, sportscaster, interviewer, interviewee and pseudo-intellectual." Adam E. Klafta, California

1992

More importantly – "This is the most-overworked phrase in the English language today. What’s worse, it’s grammatically incorrect. Important is an adjective, not an adverb." Dorothy Powers, Michigan.

1995

Challenged – "When referring to disabled people as ‘physically-challenged’ or others who don‚t fit into the homogenous mold of average. What’s next? Why not classify short or tall people as vertically-challenged or refer to homeless people as habitat-challenged? Let’s provide warm hats for the follicly-challenged. How about vocabulary-challenged for the people who come up with these ridiculous euphemisms?" Anonymous, Michigan.

1996

Unplugged – "We’ve heard Nirvana unplugged, Mariah Carey unplugged, even KISS unplugged. It’s ubiquitous." Jeff Barak, Minneapolis.

Your call is very important to us – " If my call was really important, there would be a real live person to answer the phone!" John Mertes, Cyberspace.

Done deal – "If it isn’t a deal, it's not done." Jack Z. DeLorean, Michigan.

Absolutely – Instead of just saying, "yes." "It had its origins of overuse in the film Rocky." Ronald Donoghue, Michigan

1997

As if – Slang expression used when someone has stated something obvious, or dumb. May be used interchangeably with "duh," another expression nominated by many.

I’m like – Used with the hated he goes/she goes. Example: "My son dashes into the room and he goes, Dad! Dad!‚ and I’m like, What? What?" The perpetrators of such babble should be locked together in a room, with their baseball caps riveted bill forward. Allen C. Myers, Michigan.

Whatever – Received the most nominations. "Whatever what? Whatever I want? Whatever I need? It doesn’t make any sense." Rachel Bivens, Michigan.

You go, girl – "Overused on TV talk shows and now it’s everywhere." Lillie Taylor, Wisconsin.

1998

Whatsup? – Sometimes shortened to 'sup? "Everyone uses it just to start a conversation." Carali McCall, Canada. 1999

At the end of the day – Used by many to summarize a conversation or debate, as in "At the end of the day, it‚s all about family values." "Hollywood types and Washington bureaucrats seem unable to say – finally‚ or – in the end." Randall Heeres, Michigan.

HELLO!? (sometimes pronounced with both syllables drawn out) –Nominated by many for over-use "not as a greeting, but as a condescending comment." Used often with the ever popular (and banished) –duh!‚ Christine Caruso, Canada.

2000

First annual – "Until the second year, it isn’t annual! Use inaugural, premiere, debut, or first." Amy Carter, Indiana.

Wake-up call – Not limited to late-sleepers in hotels anymore, wake-up call is used to mean a warning. This expression is dated and overused.

2001

Dude – Meaning, "man." Made even more popular by recent Hollywood films.

Diva – "Now being applied to all women singers even though it once applied only to opera singers." Art Bergeron, Virginia. (To all those claiming to be divas, the word died with Maria Callas, the last true diva! -Dero.)

Final destination – "Aren‚t all destinations final? (I heard this from George Carlin!)" Justin Meilstrup, Michigan.

Have a good one! – A modification of the 1970s‚ "Have a nice day!" "I went into a store to buy some feminine hygiene products... As I paid, the young clerk bid me farewell by saying, –Have a good one!‚... Have a good what?" Deb Captain, Michigan.

2002

Making money – Only counterfeiters make money. Honest people earn it.

Reality (based) TV – "Banish the words, banish the shows, banish the people who came up with the idea for the shows, because there is nothing real about this form of television." Mary Li, Ontario.

No-brainer – "Who doesn‚t have the brain in this transaction, you or me?" Charles Von Hout, Michigan

Sworn affidavit – "If it is not sworn, it is not an affidavit." Smitty Landry, Louisiana.

2003

Untimely death – "Has anyone yet died a timely death?" Donald Burgess, California.

Beware Of The Words You Use

Do you still use these passé words? "Absolutely" (banned 1996), "as if," "duh!," "I'm like," "whatever," "you go, girl" (1997), "whatsup?" (1998), "hello!?" (1999), "wake up call" (2000), "diva," "dude" (2001), "reality TV," "no-brainer" (2002). Then you are years behind! Before you open your mouth or write anything next time, make sure you are not using words and terms that belong to the dreaded banished list!

P.S. Pinoy Language Irritants

I had an altercation with a real ugly woman who used the expression "Duh!" and I felt like throwing up. A word like that makes no sense within the context of Filipino culture. Saying it is like wearing a winter bonnet (which many young people do!) in the Philippines. I don't know why we must ape other cultures even when we end up ridiculous doing it.

Perhaps someone should start listing some Filipino language irritants, too. I can already see terms like "presidentiables," "senatoriables," "nagbabagang balita," "feel ko," "in fairness," "say mo," "blah-blah," "no parking on both sides (you can't; you park on either side!)," and the all-time favorite expression of TV guests, "before anything else – I would like to greet –" May these words rest in peace.