And just a touch away,
I covered you with blankets
Against the cool night air.
But now that you are tall
And out of reach,
I fold my hands
And cover you with prayer.
– Source unknown
These heartwarming lines from the poem "Mother’s Covers" capture what every mother today must feel every time her child leaves the safe confines of home for the uncertain, nay, cruel world outside. With the recent spate of kidnappings involving children, mothers are praying even harder. A recent, much publicized case involved the children of Rep. Jules Ledesma who’s set to marry sexy star Assunta de Rossi. Emerging from the incident visibly unscathed, Julio Carlos Tomas and Cristina Julieta Victoria were released newly bathed with fresh clothes on.
In the early 1980s, a teenage heiress to a business empire was abducted along with a cousin.
"The memory is as fresh as the day it happened," the heiress, who has told and retold her story a thousand and one times, tells us. "Like the first ever furniture that you bought, you remember every little detail. It’s like everything is flashing before your eyes."
She compares kidnappings then and now: "Back then, kidnappers did not have long, high-powered firearms. And they were not as blatant. In my case, our driver was stopped and accused of hit-and-run. Three men got into the car – with just one or two wielding a gun. We were supposed to drive to the victim’s house but I wondered why it was taking so long to get there. To make a long story short, I and my cousin were stuck somewhere in Laguna where we were holed up for about a week and fed with rice and homegrown chicken. For other things, we had to be resourceful. We did not take a bath or change our clothes. We used a leaf to wash and used both sides of our underwear alternately. We managed disgustingly until we were rescued. We were not harmed in any way. No ransom money was paid."
She draws more comparisons, "Kidnapping children was not as frequent then. And the perpetrator had a very grave reason to do it. Now, it’s an organized crime. Then, people would instinctively call the police. Now, they think before calling the police or they don’t call at all."
General Honesto Isleta is quick to point out, "The wrongdoings of a few don’t mean the entire police force is corrupt. Such wrongdoings are committed by men in uniform who are out of service or separated from service for cause. They don’t know anything else but to carry firearms and to use them. How would you know if they’re on the level? Well, if you ask questions and they give you straight answers, they’re straight. If they scratch their heads and you see their eyes wandering, they’re probably not."
To go back to the heiress’ story, "Once you get rescued, you lose faith in people, wala ka nang tiwala sa ibang tao. For some victims, this may only last for weeks. For others, it may last for months, years or forever. Some victims lose their faith in the country and get out. I went to the US for security reasons, but came back after two years."
Fortunately, the incident did not traumatize the heiress who has gracefully put it behind her. "You have to be optimistic and believe that God still has plans for you," she shares a survival tip. "Someday, I’ll tell my son my story as well as that of his uncle who was kidnapped and killed. My little son already knows the word kidnapper."
Concerned mom and feisty anti-crime crusader Tessie Ang See knows whereof she speaks. "One time, my son was left behind by the schoolbus," she relates. "I told him to wait inside the school until somebody comes to pick him up. These kids should be made to wait inside the school until the sundo comes and not made to stay at the guard outpost."
According to Tessie, for the past seven years, it’s been SOP for most Chinese schools in Manila to check on their students if they don’t come on time by calling up their homes. "They may have met an accident along the way or they may have been kidnapped," she explains.
Tessie sadly notes the rising incidence of abduction of minors. "But it’s very unpredictable how these kids would act," she adds. "It’s also very noticeable if you put them in a safehouse. The neighbors would wonder why all of a sudden there are new children in their place. But it’s easier to get ransom if the victims are children because the parents are quick to panic. One panicky parent immediately paid her child’s abductor P30 million, but one calm parent got away with paying only P30,000. Parents should negotiate from a position of strength, not of panic."
Tessie warns, "With Christmas drawing close, parents should watch out for ATM (or random) kidnappings."
The principal players in a kidnap, says Tessie, are "very educated, with their ears and eyes glued to mass media. They buy all the newspapers, read the society pages for their next victims, listen to the radio a lot. They get a lot of ideas from media."
She tells the story of two school kids who were both kidnap victims and were boasting to their classmates what a grand time they had watching all the (rented) cartoons on tape and eating all the junk food their young hearts could have desired. "I was so upset when I heard this," she says.
Bodyguards are a big deterrent for kidnappers, but they also call attention, so Tessie notes. There are cases where kids were targetted because they were surrounded by a lot of bodyguards. "You should also be careful when choosing your children’s bodyguards and yayas. Make sure the agency you got them from checked up on their credentials. Also, make the effort to know your yayas’ full names, their contact number or address in Manila, especially if they have relatives. Most amos don’t even know their yayas’ last names."
Tessie shares other street-smart tips for both kids and parents:
• Take care when you’re hiring househelp, everybody is suspect.
• Tell your drivers/yayas to stop talking to other people or the neighbors about how rich their masters are, what time they go home at night, etc.
• Don’t flaunt your wealth by bringing your kids to school in luxury cars like a Ford Expedition and letting them wear expensive jewelry. Or bragging that you spent P5 million for your daughter’s debut.
• When hanging out in the mall after or between classes, kids should change into civilian clothes.
• For grownup kids: Don’t go around using your cell phone that you don’t know what’s happening around you. Don’t gas up when you’re alone and it’s midnight already. A series of kidnappings have occured where the victims were intercepted after gassing up. And let your parents know where you are if you’re going home beyond your curfew.
A young enterprising housewife has armed herself with safety measures passed on to her by an American security officer charged with protecting American embassy officials. "If you live in an apartment, come out from the basement, never from the lobby," she begins. "You should change your car, your route, your routine every day. Kidnappers usually have six to seven people on their list. If they find you too risky – the less risk, the better for them – they’d drop you and move on to the next name on their list. Always keep a low profile. The publicity you get in the newspapers will never compensate for what will happen to you or your loved ones."
Besides, who wants to be bothered by perennial fund-raisers who choose their potential "victims" by scouring the society pages of the newspapers?
This housewife doesn’t believe in keeping a retinue of bodyguards. "They can be useless," she asserts. "You are your best defense. Be on guard always. Be paranoid and suspicious of everybody. Keep your eyes open. Keep a circle around you. Once somebody gets within that radius, be wary."
Like they say, better safe than sorry.