I read the feng shui special of Modern Living last month and was particularly interested in the advice on how to find love and keep the relationship hot. I’m not a hundred percent sold on feng shui; what I need is practical tips on how to decorate a bedroom and make it romantic for a young couple.
M.T.
If you had asked my husband R., he’d scoff that this was a case of the blind leading the blind. Thank goodness I’m the one with the Home 911 column or he’d tell you to get a room somewhere else. I don’t know if you’re a man or a woman – but if you’re a man, those WWF (and I’m not referring to the World Wildlife Fund, by the way) posters must come down; if you’re a woman, your thousand and one pieces of crap lying around must also be stored.
There’s nothing that kills the mood more than distractions (TV doesn’t count – but then, you’re talking to a TV junkie) such as dirty laundry on the floor or a million and one accessories and pictures on the dresser, and DVDs spilling out of the media cabinet. My point is, your bedroom should be a sanctuary, a place for you to relax and get in the mood for love. We hear this all the time from interior designers and homeowners – that the home should be the one place where you can seek shelter from the outside world. This is particularly true for the bedroom where you catch your Zzs and, well, your Oohs and Aahs.
The most practical advice I can give you is to decorate it in a way you both agree on, which means color, furniture, soft furnishings and accessories. No pinks, even if you grew up thinking you were Barbie, if your spouse is allergic to the color. In our nine years of living in our house, our bedroom has seen so many colors that when the paint peels, you can almost trace the history of our marriage. We had a peach phase, yellow ones, eggshell, and the one my husband hated the most, though he didn’t admit it at the time: dark orange. He said later, after we had painted another shade of yellow over it, that the room looked like a cave. That was a mistake we lived with for two years or so. (Damn color swatches, they’re so small you think they’d work well anywhere.)
Next is furniture and soft furnishings. My friend M. and her family recently moved into their new house. Last year, she called me up and asked if she could borrow books on interiors because apparently her husband was biting his fingernails over the thought that she’d go all Laura Ashley over the house when he wasn’t looking. What is this male aversion to pink? I don’t know. But if they had made pink toy guns when these men were boys, they’d be buying pink cars today.
I asked my husband if he could sleep on a bed covered in sheets with pink flowers. He said no, it’s too girly. Could I sleep on black sheets? No way, it’s too trying-hard-to-be-sexy for me, too Austin Powers. Masculine colors such as gray and blue, yes. But please, no red or black satin sheets – unless he’s dressed in a smoking jacket every night and you wear a bunny costume to bed. Nothing spells sexier than clean, crisp white linen, upholstery in earth or gray tones, contemporary furnishings, and just subtle florals and prints here and there. Of course, these are generalizations. I have actually seen houses where florals work, and the husbands don’t mind what are commonly regarded as female colors.
Then there’s the lighting. No overhead white fluorescent lights (choose the yellow tone). Remember, you’re setting the mood for rest and romance, not dental surgery. You don’t want every pore and follicle to be enlarged; what you want is halogen lighting (with a dimmer switch!) that gives off a warm glow and hides the imperfections. In feng shui, as in every other belief, red is the color of sex (they don’t call it the red-light district for nothing; pink is for love), so put some reds in there too – maybe flowers, a couple of accessories. And greens to induce a feeling of not being cooped up in a small space.
The scent of a bedroom is important as well. And if I may harp on this – dirty socks don’t qualify for a mood-inducing scent, and unless they bottle it or put it in candle wax, neither does pizza. You know how spas smell so good with eucalyptus and peppermint oils? Try that at home to relax. I love the oils of L’Occitane, but they’re somewhat expensive, so I use the ones by Cereo Candles or Pineapple.
Then there’s music to help you set the mood. It’s not essential to many people, but it sure beats the sound of neighbors fighting if you live in a condo. The only problem is that you and your spouse might have different tastes in music. Enya might induce him to vomit while Barry White might make her want to run to safer ground. My only advice is to keep Bon Jovi, whom my husband calls "the Nora Aunor of rock," away from the bedroom.
Of course, when you’re in love, no amount of wet towels or empty Coke cans in bed or mud tracks on the floor or barking stray dogs outside can dampen the mood. Why, not even dirty dishes on the sink stopped Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche in Damage. And even if your bed has no mattress, or you don’t have a bed for that matter, nothing will stop you from going at it hot and heavy. But we live in times where we are so stressed that we owe it to ourselves to turn our homes – no matter how small the size or modest the things inside – into a place that gives us real peace and warmth, so even when the spouse gets a headache during the night, you can wake up in the morning and say, "Yes, sleep was good for me, too."
How can I remove adhesives from price tags on plastic containers without leaving marks?
Marvie Santiago
This is a constant problem being sent to Home 911, so I’m recycling my answer from two years ago: try using kerosene or acetone and gently rub on the blasted residue. And only for water-soluble glues, soak the item in cold water if possible. Also, STAR columnist Letty Lopez turned me on to this go-to, orange-based solution called Goo Gone, available at True Value. It removes virtually everything, from adhesive to candle wax to grease stains.
Any solution for a blue cotton T-shirt that had Zonrox splattered on it? Can I dye it again to its original color?
Laundry Miss
Yes, but you have to dye the entire shirt, not just the spots. Better yet, tie-dye it to solve the problem of uneven color.