Should I stay or should I go?

Ihave been flirting with an expat for almost a year now. He is the CEO of a big company. He is a real charmer and knows it. His macho good looks make him attractive to a lot of women. When we are alone he is very attentive to me, but in a big gathering, he seems oblivious to my presence and flirts with the other women around. One time when he was introduced to an attractive woman he shook her hand much too long, almost like caressing it. He was not aware that I was watching him. I did not speak to him for days after that incident.

We are not exclusive to each other, but there is a sort of understanding that we like each other. I guess he feels that he has the right to flirt with every skirt he meets. I know he is fond of me because when he doesn’t hear from me, he makes it a point to call or text and ask me what’s making me brood. I really cannot stay mad at him for a long time because he makes me laugh as he really has a great sense of humor. I have great chemistry with him because he is very interesting and can talk about anything under the sun. Should I continue to entertain my feelings for him or just forget about being his lover and keep him as just a friend?

Ms. Skeptical

Judging from your letter, his being a charmer to other women, his flirtatious ways and total disregard for your feelings when you are in public, this man is not worth your attention. This early in the game, while you are not yet deeply in love with him, cut clean. Are you waiting to get deeply hurt before you say au revoir to your macho charmer? The fact that he has not proposed to be exclusive with you after all these months means he enjoys his freedom. Sometimes we are so infatuated that our vision gets blurred. Sad to say, the vision starts to clear up when jealous sets in and jolt us back to reality. Why wait for this day? Brainwash yourself now that you are better off being just friends with this charmer. Give yourself a chance to meet someone worthwhile who will bring you to the heights of heaven with his love and sincerity. Until then, heaven can wait.

Weighty Matters

I am an on again, off again diet freak. I feel so unsuccessful in my quest to lose weight that it is really frustrating. I sometimes exist on coffee and a bagel for the day but I still can’t lose weight. I am going to a school prom soon. What could be the best diet so I can lose my unwanted lbs.?

Ms. Chubby

Hidden calories in many of today’s most popular foods can derail even the most dedicated dieter. For example, you say that you sometimes exist on coffee and a bagel. A traditional sized bagel has about 200 calories. But a fresh bagel from Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks has more than 400 calories. As for your coffee, better stick to coffee with nonfat or skim milk. If you go for a large Mocha Coconut Frappuccino with whipped cream, that will give you more than a java jolt! That cup will clog you up with 710 calories. Imagine how many hours in the gym you have to exercise to burn this cup of coffee? A Dunkin Donut chocolate chip muffin has 590 calories and 24 grams of fat. A Big Mac has 580 calories and 33 grams of fat. These are just some examples of the worst diet offenders. Learn the calorie count of these super-fattening foods and avoid them. Also, beware of descriptions such as crispy or crunchy on a menu. It usually means the item was fried in fat. Other hidden-calorie code words that indicate fatty items include creamy, sauteed or braised in its own juices. Whether eating at home or in a restaurant, be careful of the serving size. Half a serving size is half the calories. Another important tip is to avoid liquid calories. Stick to water or club soda. Alcohol like wine, champagne, whisky, gin, vodka or beer is about 150 calories a glass compared to zero calories in club soda or water. To make your diet effective, count your calories and make sure you don’t consume more than 1500 calories a day. This and an exercise regimen will certainly make you lose weight!

How Do I Teach My Daughter About Safe Sex?

My 17-year-old daughter has a boyfriend and I can see they are getting too close for comfort. I know of some teenage pregnancies and this is what I would like to avoid. My daughter is a bright student and I feel that she has a bright future ahead of her. I would not want her life ruined because of an early pregnancy, which she and her boyfriend are not ready for. I would like very much to advise her to take precautions when the time comes that they cannot control themselves. But I don’t wish to sound like a permissive mother. I don’t want to give her the idea that I am allowing her to do it just because I am teaching her to take precautions. How do I go about handling this delicate situation? Every time her boyfriend visits, I put a maid in every corner to make sure they don’t lock themselves in any room.

Worried Mom

Do you have a compassionate lady gynecologist? She is the answer to your problem. Talk to her and tell her what is bothering you. Tell her that you will be sending your daughter to her so that she can teach your daughter all about sexual awareness and precautions. She should also discuss with her the different STDs and the consequences of each. It is not for the purpose of scaring her, but of educating her. Then tell your ob-gyn to discuss with your daughter the different methods of contraception, such as condoms (not reliable coz what if he doesn’t have one at the moment of temptation?), contraceptive pills and IUDs. Since doctors have that authoritative appeal most people listen when they speak. I am sure that your daughter would rather open up to a lady gynecologist than to mommy. Virginity is almost obsolete in this day and age. The sooner you address the problem, the more relaxed you will feel about your daughter having a boyfriend.

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For your questions write to Mayenne Carmona at StarGate Media Inc., 6th floor Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati City.