So when I am told to "go ahead and taste it," I hesitate a little. You see, these aren’t fruit shakes, they’re lubricants. As in lubricants.
Marie Ann repeats, "Taste it."
Right there, a drop of Wet blueberry lubricant spread on the back of my hand. My first thought is: Why the hell would I want to taste lubricant? My second thought is: Only a man would invent flavored lubricants – the same silly man that probably invented glow-in-the-dark condoms.
Oh, what the hell.
So I taste it. It does taste like blueberry.
Imagine that. You go from burning women on the stake for having sex to making flavored lubricants for them.
The store is Bare Essentials, the brainchild of gun store chain co-owner Marie Ann Topacio. The slogan of her new store is "Woman be free." You can add whatever line you like to that slogan. As in be "free to decide" (Cranberries song yes, I lack originality), "free to buy," "free not to buy," "free to have fun."
The store is not a sex shop, rather it is a store that sells stuff related to sex, women’s hygiene, lingerie, and things that women have always wanted to buy but were afraid to in case some punk behind the drugstore counter announced it over the PA system. It’s not a joke shop either, which was where you found stuff falling under the category of sexual aids years ago (remember Gary Lising’s store?).
First, the clinical stuff that your ob-gyn might recommend. They’re called "personal care and feminine needs accessories" or things that men don’t like to know about. These are moisturizers and lubricants (there’s a difference), premenstrual syndrome and menopausal products, feminine wash products, ovulation kits, pregnancy test kits, and incontinence products for the elderly.
Marie Ann explains why some women need moisturizers and lubricants. "Nearly every woman will experience vaginal dryness at some point in her life. In the US alone it affects 20 million women. Burning, itching, painful intercourse and discomfort during everyday activities are the most common symptoms of vaginal dryness."
Typical causes of dryness include menopause, which means a "decline in hormone levels and thus reducing vaginal secretions and diminished estrogen and increased vaginal pH leading to increased susceptibility to vaginal infections." And also childbirth, which gets your hormone levels out of whack, and breast cancer treatments such as Tamoxifen, which causes estrogen deficiencies, and the surgical removal of ovaries. Marie Ann says dryness may also occur in women using antihistamine or antidepressants, women who exercise excessively, women under a lot of stress, and women using tampons.
The store carries Vagisil and Replens, estrogen-free vaginal moisturizers which she says are recommended by most gynecologists (the latter especially). They replenish the moisture for days and relieve the discomfort caused by dryness.
"You may not need it when you’re young, but when you get older you need to use it every day. I have a friend who told me, buti dinala mo to the Philippines because I can’t find it here. A lubricant is used to lubricate while a moisturizer holds the water that you naturally have."
When Marie Ann was applying for a space in malls, they all rejected her. She says their leasing departments thought she was going to open a sex shop. "I guess because the mall people are all young. They don’t know about these things and they don’t care about these things. Of course we have the fun packaging and sexual aids, but really it all boils down to products that some people need to enjoy life fully. Aside from our fun products we have things like silicone pads for breast cancer patients who have had mastectomy."
So Marie Ann approached Ali Mall, the place where she and her husband first opened their gun shop. Now Bare Essentials is located at the second floor of the mall, right near the atrium. The irony, she says, is that the mall is run by older people whom she found more open-minded than the young ones.
"There is nothing obscene about the products. Ask your ob-gyn, she’ll tell you to get these things. My own ob-gyn didn’t even know I had this store when she told me to buy these products abroad where they are incidentally available over the counter."
When teenage customers wander in, the staff asks them their age. If they’re below 21, they’re directed to the other side of the store where the lingerie and undergarments are located. Only those older than 21 are allowed to purchase products such as lubricants, massage oils, moisturizers, and contraceptives (including female condoms).
She once had a customer who told her to take off the contraceptive products from her shelves because they were against church laws. Marie Ann simply said, "Not all Filipinos are Catholic. I have a right to sell them and they have a right to buy."
The products are imported from the US and Canada, including a line called Shunga with its Japanese-style racy packaging. These are great for bridal showers and as honeymoon and gag gifts, especially the edible massage oils and the snow powder box that comes with a small feather duster. Or how about peppermints in the shape of…well, you should see them for yourself for a good laugh. Or toys that Sex & the City’s Samantha might use when she doesn’t have a man?
From the lubricants section, the bestsellers are the Wet products, a brand known all over the world for its flavored lubricants. Marie Ann says it’s even made an appearance in movies like American Pie 2 and TV shows such as Dharma and Greg. The Wet line is water-based, which means it can be washed off easily, it’s not sticky and is non-staining. It comes in gel and liquid silk.
Marie Ann says the kind of woman Bare Essentials is targeting is one "who is not embarrassed by her sensuality. She is headstrong and she practices safe sex." She’ll wear flirty knickers and teddies and she’s not embarrassed either to go into the store to ask for air-padded, gel-padded or water-padded bras. Yup, technology has indeed been put to good use as far as women with flat chests are concerned.
"Bare Essentials is not uncomfortable about putting our products out in the open. People shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, too."
There are women, though, who are. For them, Marie Ann has put up a website (www.bareessentials.com.ph) where they can order products and the store will drop ship them to any of the 34 gun stores the family owns nationwide. "We just wrap them in plain paper and then send them off. It’s cash on delivery, so they can just pick them up in our stores."
"People say that the moment a woman goes over 40, she’s over the hill like she has no right to enjoy an intimate relationship anymore. Why should that be the case? Abroad you see couples in their prime years still having that aspect of their relationship. So why not us?"
One just has to look at the framed paintings inside the store by artist Jeff Dizon to know how Marie Ann likes to defy convention. Since she collects nude paintings, she commissioned him to do a series for her store. But she wanted it different – not the usual sexy woman – so the artist painted an oblique version of sexy. He painted a very fat woman in exaggerated poses as if to say, "I dare you to say I’m not sexy."
And she’s wearing a violet thong.