As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted

Recently, two of my friends hosted a classy dinner party for me on the occasion of my birthday. They held it at a newly opened restaurant owned by a top restaurateur and the guest list included some of Manila’s loveliest women, two ambassadors and accomplished businessmen. It had all the ingredients of an ideal, fun birthday bash and at one point, way after the dinner and the toasts, I was asked to give a speech which was the right thing for me to do to thank my hosts for their generosity and my guests for their presence. While I spoke, one of my hosts kept interrupting me after each sentence. I lost my cool and faced one side of the table (the side without her) and continued to talk to those who were politely listening, but of course, I already lost interest so I cut my speech short. I was polite enough not to let it spoil my evening, but it almost did. In school, we were taught to keep quiet and politely listen while someone was giving a speech, or have the rules changed since my school days? – MR. L.

The rules have not changed since your school days. That was impolite of your friend to keep interrupting your speech. Granted she didn’t like or didn’t agree with what you were saying, she should have waited for you to finish and taken up the issues with you after the evening was over. I don’t blame you for losing interest in continuing your speech. And you did right in not spoiling the evening for everyone by being polite. Perhaps your host was doing it in jest. Sometimes, when a party gets too energized, things happen. The important thing is that everyone was happy at the end of the evening, and your party, thanks to keeping your cool, ended the way it started: A fun birthday bash.

* * * A Grave Problem

This is a bit morbid but my father’s health is faltering and it won’t be long before he leaves this world. After all, he is 90 years old. My sister and I don’t agree on the details of his funeral. She is an old maid with no zest for life. She doesn’t agree that my father’s favorite song When the Saints go Marching In be played. I think this would please my father considering he loved music and dancing and was a happy person most of his life. Can you say something to convince my sister that a happy funeral is not frowned upon these days? – Louie

Consider the personality of your father and think about how he would like his funeral to be celebrated. You say your father is a happy person who loved music. Playing his favorite song will add a light touch to his funeral. As sad as funerals are, they are also a celebration of a person’s life, bringing together the loved ones of the deceased and special friends as a commemoration. Personal touches such as playing his favorite song make this commemoration even more special and meaningful.

* * * Black Tie As Wedding Dress Code

Our friends are getting married soon and all of us are surprised that the dress code is black tie. We are all in our 30s, too young to look so formal and stuffy in black tie. We didn’t expect this from them as they have always dressed so casual and gee, black tie is really so formal! What exactly is black tie and how can we give it a younger kind of look that will not make us look like the maitre d’ in formal restaurants? And what should my wife wear because she also doesn’t want to look so stuffy in a gown? – Nelson

It is always elegant to be dressed in formal affairs such as an evening wedding which I am assuming is the time of their wedding because of the dress code. Black tie, plainly speaking, is a tuxedo with a bow tie. Young men don’t really like to wear tuxedos and bow ties as they look too oldish. Some men personalize their tuxes with a tie as opposed to a bow. You can look hip by using a colorful tie with your tux. A friend of mine wore a silver tie with his tux and it looked fabulous. As for the women, when the men are dressed in tux, women should also go formal. For formal wear, women have a lot of options. They could go in cocktail dresses, formal evening pants with dressy formal tops, or long gowns. Unless long gown is strictly enforced, any of the above is acceptable.

* * * Teen Fashion: Grin And Bare It!

At what age should I allow my teenager to go to parties? My daughter is 15 years old and she insists on going to her coed school parties. But I am so hesitant to allow her because of the prevailing fashion among teenagers. Her friends who visit the house are all wearing pants that are down to their lower hips, and their blouses are so short that a lot of skin is exposed. Like what you see Britney Spears and those teenage singing idols wearing. The fashion nowadays is too skimpy and clinging. Some of their clothes look like nightgowns. I am concerned that these kinds of clothes are tempting the young boys to rape them.

My daughter says I am too strict and old-fashioned! – Concerned Mom

You should have a meeting with the other mothers and talk to them about the dress code for your daughters when they go to parties. What they use for loafing around with each other may not necessarily be what they should wear in parties where there are boys who could get tempted with what these young girls wear. Yes, fashion for the young today is a bit too revealing, but there are also other styles to wear that are decent but hip. One doesn’t have to use the really low pants and short short tops to parties. For example, the peasant blouse with long skirts are young-looking and so fashionable. Tell your daughter that you will allow her to go to parties if she were appropriately dressed. I am sure the other mothers will agree with you and would impose the same rules on their daughters.

* * * The Right Curfew For Teens

What is the right curfew for 14- to 17-year-old teenagers? My son is a rebellious 16-year-old who insists on staying out till 1 p.m. My daughter is 14 who is just starting to party as well. Their curfew is midnight and I think this is a reasonable curfew to impose. – Worried Parent

The curfew is the parents’ decision; however, it should be based on what is the normal time for their peer group. Midnight is a reasonable curfew for 14- to17-year olds. Have a discussion with your teenager so you can establish a happy medium, but let your child know that yours is the final decision. If your child will be late, insist that it is mandatory that he call. Curfew is sometimes extended on certain evenings – on prom night, for example or a sweet 16 party. But these are just a few exceptions. For the most part, stick to the original time. Teenagers who stay out till the wee hours usually get into trouble with booze or drugs. And these are the ills that you wish your teenagers would avoid.