On fathers-to-be

Congratulations to my friends Willy and Liz Revillame for the birth of their son, Juan Emmanuel. I had the chance to visit them in the birthing room of St. Luke’s Medical Center while Liz was in labor. Willy was hesitant to witness the delivery of the baby because he wasn’t sure he could handle the sight of blood. While Liz continued her labor (which lasted for a grueling 24 hours), Willie had a chance to peek into the delivery room where he witnessed a newborn baby being carried out. The sight made his heart warm up to the idea of maybe experiencing the same with his baby as well. He ended up cutting the umbilical cord and indeed carrying his baby upon birth. The result was amazing. He didn’t want to let the baby go after that. He immediately formed a special bond with his son. He readily made himself available to stay up all night to assist Liz in feeding and caring for their baby. I felt so privileged to have been witness to so much love, which was brought about by this child’s birth. Cheers, Willy and Liz!

I realize that many men feel uncomfortable seeing their wives go through pain during labor. Many of them miss out on the chance of being a part of their wives’ birthing process simply because they’re not aware of the benefits and the role they play in supporting and assisting their spouses. Here are some tips shared by Davao-based childbirth educator Alexandra Morris-Hao (tel. nos. 0918-93825 or 300-3023) for fathers-to-be:

• Understand that the mother-to-be needs you. You will start now to learn to become a teammate in rearing and protecting your baby.

• Talk about the birth of your baby.

• Express your feelings, visions, and worries and be specific.

• Learn to massage your wife. Massage is important during labor and delivery.

• Help your wife to prepare her and the baby’s bag. This way, you know where to find what your wife and baby need when you get to the hospital.

• When labor starts, stay calm. Share a meal during tolerable contractions.

• Record as much as you want of the event by taking pictures (without disrupting the mother-to-be) and writing down what you observe, including what time labor started and what you have observed when it started.

• Be an encourager. Tell your wife how thankful you are for her efforts in delivering your child.

Vital Info About Fathers-To-Be

Fathers-to-be tend to worry about the cost of their baby’s delivery and beyond and where to get the financial resources to pay for it, feeling left out (especially when the mother breastfeeds), how to care for their fragile newborn, sex, and pregnancy symptoms called couvade. Couvade symptoms are experienced by 90 percent of fathers-to-be. They include: weight gain, food cravings, fatigue, and mood swings. Couvade symptoms go away right after delivery.

Endocrinologist Katherine Wynne-Edwards who is also a professor at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, believes that hormonal changes in men may help them prepare for fatherhood in more subtle ways.

In her most recent study, she and her colleagues recruited 33 Canadian couples and collected saliva samples from both partners from as early as 10 weeks into the pregnancy through one month after birth. In some cases, the couple even gave samples during the actual delivery. Wynne-Edwards hopes that hormonal changes the researchers found in the saliva may someday be found to be linked to behavioral changes. She presented her findings at the recent annual meeting of the Endocrine Society in Toronto.

Anne Storey, PhD, a professor at Memorial University in Newfoundland, Canada, has worked with Wynne-Edwards in the past, but was not involved in the study mentioned above. According to Storey, non-human fathers-to-be in her study had higher levels of prolactin during their partners’ pregnancies were the men who were most responsive to their babies’ cries. "So it suggests that it might be linked up with responsiveness to baby cues, getting ready to be parental," she says. She has yet to verify if the same is true for humans and what’s going on in terms of what is causing that.

Wynne-Edwards says that though more in-depth studies need to be done, the evidence already indicates that impending fatherhood may be a physical, as well as emotional, experience for men.

New research shows that expectant fathers may experience changes in hormone levels that correlate with changes in the mothers’ hormones.

These men showed higher levels of the female hormone estradiol, lower levels of testosterone, and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Although researchers speculate that these hormonal changes can affect behavior, and thus preparing the man for fatherhood, more study is needed on this subject.

Incidentally, if you find yourself in St. Luke’s Medical Center, check out the Oasis at the 12th Health Enhancement Center. It’s a hospital-based Salon and Spa facility right within your reach as you wait in line for hours before your check-up or test results. I highly recommend this for women in labor especially when they’ve come to the hospital too early for their date with the stork. They can ask one of the masseurs to come to their rescue and relieve them from excruciating back pains brought about by their contractions. After delivery, you can have your hair shampooed professionally and have a manicure and pedicure right inside your room! Oasis at the 12th likewise intents to be a venue-of-choice for patients with appearance related side-effects arising from their condition, illness and/or treatment (e.g. chemotherapy). The emotional well-being and even the recovery outlook of these patients can be uplifted through beauty-enhancing techniques such as wig-fitting and styling, and makeover/(makeup) "camouflaging."

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E-mail me at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.