Dear Nanay,
My husband and I both have very good jobs here in Makati, but he is being transferred to Korea. It is a very good career move for him, but I don’t really want to leave my job here in Manila. My choices are basically to move with him, although I do not know what I will do there in Korea, or for me to stay here and for him to commute back and forth. I do not want to give up my life here but I also want to be supportive. What do you think we should do?
GINA A.
Dear Gina A.,
I can understand your situation where you want to be supportive of your husband but at the same time you do not want to change your life overnight. It is a very difficult choice that I think you both need to think about very carefully.
My suggestion is for you to initially stay here in Manila while your husband goes to Korea. As you said, he can then just commute back and forth. Start with that because that is the more conservative approach to your problem.
Then give it a little time. When you change your life so drastically, you never know what will happen. See how you like the arrangement. Does your husband like living in Korea? Are there good schools there for your children, if you have any? Is commuting even an option or is it too tiring? You should also go and visit him regularly and spend time there so that you also know if you like life there.
Give this arrangement at least a few months. Then little by little I think you can make an informed decision on whether or not you should make a more permanent move.
Good luck.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Giving up a little ‘career’ to take on more ‘family’
Dear Nanay,
I am a committed professional in a large company here in Manila. My problem is that I am so busy at work. Even if I find it satisfying and fulfilling, I have two young children and I am afraid I am missing out on their best years because I hardly see them. I leave first thing in the morning and come home late at night. It is the yayas that are raising my kids! I want to take less work — even a demotion — just so I can spend more time with them.
Professional Mama
Dear Professional Mama,
It is always a very difficult balancing act when you are a working parent. This is the same for both mothers and fathers, who find themselves torn between their jobs and their families.
I think what you need to do is examine your priorities. Perhaps first and foremost will be your financial situation.
Do you have to work so hard? Do you need the money? If you do, then you may not have a choice. But if you don’t really need all the money you are earning, then you have a little more flexibility.
If you can afford to give up some income, then look at what is really more important to you — career or family. If you have the luxury of choice, I would say by all means give up a little “career” and take on a little more “family.” Because, as you already know, yung pera puwede mong kitain kahit kailan (you can earn money anytime). But these young years of your children are priceless and will never be back again.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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