"Jenny’s amazing," Chito said, "walang kaba, very confident sa sarili."
I told Chito, "Yah, I hope her confidence rubs off on the male golfers – and all Pinoys in the world. We need to have that kind of confidence. It’s a competitive world out there."
Chito replied, "Hmmm, I don’t know. Jenny’s a rare breed. Generally, we Pinoys get intimidated with foreigners. We seem to have this automatic feeling of inferiority against them. Our male golfers get jittery whenever they just see Tiger. We’re mayabang pag tayo-tayo lang. But we seem to have trouble asserting ourselves with foreigners – even if, in reality, we’re better in a lot of aspects."
I agree with what Chito said. We have superiority complex when we talk among ourselves. In fact, this is already a running joke in Pinoy pop culture. You all know how it goes. There would be this typical comedy situation where there’s a group of Pinoy talking to each other, having a drink, when suddenly, one of them boasts, "Pare, ang galing ng lolo ko, sampu ang anak! Ang tindi!" Then, another would go, "Wala iyan sa lolo ko – ang lolo ko 15 ang anak!" Then a third guy would go, "Walang binatbat ang mga lolo niyo sa lolo ko. Ang lolo ko, 20 ang anak – sa 20 babae! O, ano say nyo?" Then, the last guy modestly goes, "Ang lolo ko isa ang anak." The other guys stare at the poor guy, and burst into mocking laughter, screaming, "Hahaha! Ang hina pala ng lolo mo eh! Isa lang ang anak???" Then the guy meekly responds, tongue in cheek, "Oo isa lang – kakapanganak nga lang ng lola ko kahapon eh."
A variation of that joke features three foreigners and a Pinoy – and the joke would relate on how the four try to win a contest. This is somewhat distasteful, but please bear with me as I try to make a point. I think you all know about this anyway. There’s this "World’s Dirtiest Underwear Competition" and a German, American, Japanese and a Filipino were the contenders. The object of the contest was to see whose underwear was dirtiest. The contenders had to throw their respective underwear to a wall. The underwear that stayed stuck on the wall longest was declared the dirtiest underwear. The German went first – he threw his underwear on the wall and it stayed stuck for 30 seconds. Applause. Then the American threw his – and his got stuck for a minute. Cheers. Then it was the Japanese’s turn – he whips his underwear – whapak! – and his underwear remained stuck for a full hour! More cheers. Then, it was the Pinoy’s turn. The Pinoy throws his underwear, it hits the wall, but after five seconds it drops to the floor. The emcee then announces, "First place – Japan; second place – America; and third place – Germany. But the Pinoy shouts, "Wait! Hold on a minute! Look!" Everyone looks at the Pinoy’s underwear – and, on its own, it creeps up wall, and gets stuck there permanently. The Pinoy is declared the undisputed winner!
On the other hand, when an American with a twang or a guy with a perky British accent approaches us and asks, "Do you know which way to the loo?," we have a tendency to do what I call the Porky Pig Rap. We get rattled and ramble clumsily, "Duh, abi-dee, abee-dee, abee-dee…er… uh… obor duhhr!" I’ve seen it happen all the time. I call this superior inferiority – or a high degree of inferiority.
In a way, having this syndrome is totally understandable. I mean, it’s hard to fight the after-effects of almost 500 years of colonial rule. It’s practically in our blood and somehow, it is ingrained in our nature to bow down before anyone or anything that’s foreign, especially if we smell a little bit of Spanish, American, or Japanese in the person. In a TV ad I saw recently, there was this mestizo guy bringing his Pinay girlfriend to his house to meet his mother for the first time. The Spanish dude warns his Pinay girlfriend that his mother is quite strict – and the Pinay girl assures the guy not to worry. The Spanish mom sizes up the Pinay girl, impressed with her white (or should I say "whitened" skin), then, in Spanish, she tells her son that she basically likes the girl. The Pinay girl then makes a comment in Spanish, acknowledging the positive comment of the mother. The mom gets blown away, totally impressed that this girl is not only white – she is also "cultured."
While there is totally nothing morally wrong with the ad, I think you will agree with me that the ad says a lot about how we view ourselves. I found it interesting that the Pinay girl was trying to impress this doña-looking mom by speaking Spanish. I mean, it’s so 1800s if you ask me. But that just goes to show that the whole "bowing to foreigners" mentality is still very prevalent. We’re proud when it comes to other Pinoys, but we shrink before foreigners. Not all of us, but certainly, a good number of us do.
When you really think about it, there’s absolutely no reason for us to feel uncomfortable or dyahe when we confront foreigners. Sure, we were under colonial rule, but so were a lot of other countries and states which are prosperous today – for instance, Hong Kong, Korea, and Singapore. So you can throw that colonial argument out of the window. Is it because we’re predominantly Catholic and Catholicism teaches us to be meek and humble? Perhaps. But then again, if you think about, Christ wasn’t exactly the bowing type. He certainly didn’t bow to Pontius Pilate, to Caiaphas, or to Caesar. And the Lord must have been pretty confident in his sermons – otherwise, he wouldn’t have gathered such a following. Shy guys simply cannot attract an audience. He was humble of heart, yes, but he certainly wasn’t shy. So Catholicism shouldn’t be the reason either. Could it be because we can’t seem to get our act together as a country, and we’re always in the international headline news because of our multifarious problems? Maybe. But we’re not alone in this category. Our politicians may be highly irritating, but that’s a universal phenomenon. The US lawmakers are not the most loved species of people in the world. And you should see Taiwanese politicians resolve their disputes. They slug it out.
If you stop and think a bit, we Pinoys are one of the best in Asia when it comes to speaking English. Plus, we’re approachable and amiable. Whenever I go into regional conferences or meetings, and I hear some of my Korean or Taiwanese colleagues struggle in their English, I tell myself "Geez, I speak better than these guys!" But when I look at them, they are confident and firm. They stutter, yes. But they know their stuff. Plus, they have a full grasp of who they are. Oddly, the American and English guys talking to them acknowledge their difficulty in speaking English and I notice that it is the Americans and the English who adjust – they try to talk slower in order for them to communicate effectively. But when they talk to me, a switch in me is turned on and, instead of talking in my normal English, I unconsciously put on a fake accent to adopt to their twang. "Oh yes indeed, that is splendidly cowrrect, indeed. Bloody yes, indeed! " And I end up doing the Porky Pig Rap.
But there’s no reason to panic and hide. Foreigners are people like us. They are certainly not gods. They might event have more flaws than we do. There is absolutely no reason for us to be insecure about ourselves. We are a beautiful race, and we are the most adaptable and flexible people in the world. Plus, we have what other countries don’t have – that perpetual Close Up smile.
And hey, did I mention that we have Jennifer Rosales and Manny Pacquiao too? Wow.
Self-confidence is not something that we can have overnight. We kinda have to work on it. So first, start believing. Next, make sure you stay informed on as many subjects as possible. And I’m not talking about knowledge on who Kris Aquino’s boyfriend is or what Ethel Booba will do with the sex video scandal, OK? I am talking about good knowledge – good stuff that will interest other people. It’s a known fact that knowledge brings forth confidence.
Right now, as I write this column, I am in a regional conference in Bangkok. And in a way, I am writing this article to myself. Right now, I am telling myself, "You’re at par with these guys, Rod. In fact, you’re even better. Relax, and be yourself." I am asserting myself in this conference and can honestly say that by saying this mantra, I have gained the respect of my regional colleagues.
So next time you find yourself speaking with an "English-spokening" foreigner, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "I am not Porky Pig." Just say what’s on your mind and make sure there’s something there when you open your mouth. The confidence will then naturally follow.