"When is it passion and when is it love?"
"Why can’t I seem to end a relationship?"
"Why does an illicit relationship seem exciting?"
Well, Cassandra, I’ll try to help you differentiate love from passion. It really may be difficult to do so because at lot of times, true love is also accompanied by intense passion (passionate love). Love is a strong feeling of affection or fondness for a significant person in one’s life while passion is defined as an intense desire or emotion. So you see, if a person is very much in love, the feeling of affection may become very intense and passionate. When a person is really in love, the elements of sacrifice, sharing and compromise come into the picture. If you are really in love with someone, you would be willing for example, to give up your career and be a full-time housewife. You would be willing to go wherever your spouse is assigned. Or maybe, you would be willing to give up your night life and discover new interests that will not be in conflict with those of your loved one.
Cassandra, perhaps, what you really want to differentiate from love is lust. Lust is a strong desire (like passion), but the strong desire or craving is basically for carnal pleasure. In lust, the elements of sacrifice, sharing and compromise may not be involved. Lust is associated with illicit relationships. Men pay prostitutes or keep mistresses to satisfy their carnal needs. Since such relationships are taboo and the risk of getting caught exists, emotions of fear and excitement may be experienced. There are people who love to do what is forbidden or against the rules. They seem to find more pleasure and excitement especially when they’re not caught.
Cassandra, you’re now 28 years old and in your early adulthood. Early adulthood begins at the end of adolescence (about age of 20) and ends at the age of 40. During early adulthood, options for occupation and marriage or other intimate relationships are explored by the young adult. For the majority of young adults, selecting a mate and starting a family are of utmost priority. You are now independent and autonomous with a good job as bank teller. I certainly hope, Cassandra, that you realize that prolonging your illicit relationship with a married man will lower your chances of selecting a better mate, one who is single, responsible and capable of providing love and care for you and for your future children.
Cassandra, wake up, girl! There is still time to look for a better life partner. I’m sure your family will prefer that you get involved with an eligible bachelor. What will your future be if you decide to stick it out with your married boyfriend? Yes, he may perhaps be a good provider if he is financially capable. Yes, you may have a comfortable life. But will you be truly happy being just a mistress? Can you face society with such a status? Think too of your children’s future and acceptance in society. The difficult and final decision is still yours, Cassandra.
UP-PGH College of Medicine will hold its centennial celebration by the year 2005. The Committee on Museum and Memorabilia headed by Dr. Regina Macalintal Canlas, co-chair, Dr. Manuel Agulto, with members, Dr. Josephine Dizon, Criselda Austero, Mary Carlin and Dr. Nina Halili-Jao are appealing to the alumni and their family to assist the committee in collecting antiques or old instruments for clinical, laboratory, library, teaching equipment used in the UP College of Medicine. You may contact Criselda Austero , tel. nos. 526-0371, 526-4256 or Mary Carlin, PGH Dept. of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine, tel. no. 525-0803.
(In case you have problems about love, looks and relationships you would want me to discuss in this column, do send your letters to The Philippine STAR c/o Allure or send them directly to Suite 506 Medico Bldg., Lourdes St. cor. San Miguel Avenue, Pasig; fax no. 631-38-77; tel. no. 633-3893.)