"Nicole" said she is struggling to forget her ordeal, but that it all comes back to her every now and then.
"Kung ’di dahil sa kanila, hindi sana ako naghihirap ng ganito (if it were not for them, I would not be going through these difficulties)," she told The Star in an interview, referring to accused Lance Corporals Daniel Smith, Keith Silkwood, Dominic Duplantis and Staff Sergeant Chad Carpentier.
"Hanggang ngayon masakit pa rin (it still hurts up to now)," she said, adding that she wants to move on and live a normal life again but the healing process is not at all easy.
This Nov. 1 marks the first anniversary of the Subic rape case, which placed four American soldiers on trial for the alleged rape of a Filipina inside a Hyundai Starex van in the Subic Bay Freeport in Zambales province last year.
After four months of marathon hearings, Judge Benjamin Pozon of the Makati City regional trial court (RTC) will issue a verdict on Nov. 27.
The prosecution presented a total of 23 witnesses in two months while the defense presented seven in two weeks including the accused.
Nicole, who took the witness stand, claimed she was sexually abused while she was under the influence of alcohol. Smith, the principal accused, maintained his innocence by telling the court that the sex was consensual.
Both camps believe that Pozon’s wisdom, integrity, and fairness will reflect on his decision, which Pozon originally planned to issue before the anniversary of the alleged rape.
Government lawyers from the Department of Justice (DOJ), Nicole’s private counsel Evalyn Ursua and the lawyers of the accused are now preparing to file memoranda containing their respective closing arguments on or before Nov. 7, as required by the court.
Women’s groups and other non-government organizations are expected to hold activities in support of Nicole on Wednesday.
As for the accused, Benjamin Formoso, one of Smith’s lawyers, said the American soldiers will have to remain at the US embassy where they are kept in protective custody.
According to Formoso, the defense is confident that the prosecution failed to establish the accused’s guilt beyond reasonable doubt, so they expect an acquittal.
Nicole’s mother said they will hear Mass on Nov. 1 to pray for justice, adding that she still can’t accept what happened to her daughter.
Nicole said she is trying to remember good and happy things — like how she, before the alleged rape, was able to spend time with her brothers and sisters.
She said all that has happened made her see who her real friends are among the many US soldiers she became acquainted with.
Though it has already been a year, Nicole said she is still angry at the accused and is not ready to face whatever the court’s decision will be or the life she will have to live afterwards.
The ship that brought the four accused to the Philippines, the USS Essex, recently returned to Subic, Zambales for this year’s joint RP-US military exercises.
However, US soldiers are reportedly keeping their distance from the Neptune Club, where Nicole got drunk and first met the accused last year.