Southeast Asia’s first healing center for grieving mothers opens in QC

One year after losing her youngest daughter to a fire that gutted their home, Gina de Venecia has mustered the strength to help other grieving mothers confront and overcome their own loss.

Gina yesterday led the groundbreaking rites for the INA Healing Center at the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) compound in Quezon City, where mothers who have lost their children could seek counseling. It will be the first of its kind in Southeast Asia.

"I had to undergo the painful loss of a child in order to realize how much bereaved mothers needed a healing center to overcome their grief," Gina told The STAR.

The event, graced by President Arroyo, marked the first death anniversary of Kristina Casimira ("KC"), the 16-year-old daughter of Gina and her husband Speaker Jose de Venecia Jr. KC died in a fire that partly gutted their mansion in Dasmariñas Village, Makati City.

The center is a project of the INA (Inang Naulila sa Anak) Foundation that was founded by Gina and by radio and television host Ali Sotto whose son Miko died after falling from a building almost two years ago.

Social Welfare Secretary Lualhati Pablo said the establishment of the INA Healing Center is "indeed a milestone."

"Too often, women quit too soon. Faced with the trauma and grief of losing a child, many mothers are unable to put themselves together and move on with their lives. They are like little boats that are easily capsized with only a bucket of adversity," Pablo said.

Gina admitted that the pain of losing KC will "never go away," but it is possible to "move on." The couple is set to fly to New York soon because the Yuletide season is refreshing the pain they felt when KC died.

She said that KC’s death happened at the start of the "Simbang Gabi" (dawn masses), while the ninth day of her death fell on Christmas Day.

Gina, however, noted that the "strength and resiliency" of her co-grieving mothers at INA is inspiring her to move on and help others facing similar situations.

"In our matriarchal society, the mother is the center of the family. Her state of mind must be stable but grief can derail her plans. So it is really important to have a support group for mothers. There is no formal organization that helps mothers who lost a child and the foundation will answer that need," she added.

The other members of INA include corporate lawyer Lorna Kapunan whose eight-year-old son King succumbed to cancer in 2003 and Menchie Abalos, whose daughter Ciara died of an illness this year.

The construction will be partly financed by the Countrywide Development Funds of the Speaker and other congressmen and the funds raised by the foundation, which is still accepting donations.

Under the healing program, counselors will be trained to assist grieving mothers at the center that will rise on a 1,000-square-meter lot donated by the DSWD. INA is hoping to replicate the project in other areas of the country.

The foundation aims to partially open the center in time for the 18th birthday of KC on April 6 next year.

Gina said they also plan to put up a butterfly aviary that could serve as a "balm" that soothes the pained hearts of grieving mothers.

During the ceremony, hundreds of butterflies — a favorite of KC — along with white doves and balloons were set free.

"A huge part of my heart was torn away when I lost KC but with all the grief-stricken mothers, we take comfort and rejoice in the knowledge that our children revel with the angels, in the presence of God," she said.

For his part, Joe de Venecia announced that he would use a part of his Countrywide funds to purchase fireproof asbestos suits that will be distributed to fire stations in 35 cities nationwide.

The suits will be procured from Austria at the cost of P250,000 each.

Joe recalled that when the fire was engulfing their house, he and his son Joey had wanted to save KC but they were not allowed to do so for lack of asbestos suits.

"We were turned back because of the fire. But if we had asbestos suits or if the firemen had asbestos suits, KC could have been saved. So this is what we want to do, distribute asbestos suits," he added.